Ednos: Binge And Restrict

introduction *sample*

I can't believe something I used to have so much control over is now controlling me. It's ironic how you can go from going to bed starving to being disgustingly full and guilty. It feels like my brain went from one addiction to the next.

Food is something that is always on my mind. My day usually starts with me restricting then at night I fuck up and binge. It's not that I want to binge, it's as if I need to.

I always feel like I'm fighting a battle I can't win. My mind just won't shut off. I binge to try to quiet the noise, and it works until I finish. All that's left after is the guilt and sadness. It's like trying to fill a void.

I wish my mind could decide on what disorder to have. It's always a surprise, one night I'm hungry and the other I'm crying and full. I envy those who can fit into one category.

I can't remember the last time I enjoyed eating. All I can think about is the calories or if I'm gonna binge that night. I miss when I could go a full day eating barely anything.

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So this is just a small sample of something I'm going to be working on. I'm not a writer and I know this sample is messy but this is to just give you an idea. Writing out my struggles is basically therapy for me. Again though I am not a writer and this is purely just to share my story and mindset.