voltron group chat

matt writes a fanfiction

doormatt made a group chat.
doormatt added pidgeon, gordonramsay, beatabitch, shiro, and corancoranthegorgeousman.
doormatt named the chat "I DONE FUCKED UP."
doormatt: so.
doormatt: apparently i was drunk last night.
shiro: For the love of god, Matt
doormatt: shhhshshshsh.
doormatt: and i wrote a fanfiction that i dont remember writing.
pidgeon: so was it smut
gordonramsay: NO HENTAI ON THIS SERVER
mattholt: no.
mattholt: and I MADE A FANFICTION
mattholt: NAMED DIRTY LAUNDRY
mattholt: and thats not the worst part.
gordonramsay: that doesnt sound too bad??
shiro: Usually, this is when he starts explaining why its bad.
pidgeon: and usually its very bad.
mattholt: I MADE A FANFICTION NAMED DIRTY LAUNDRY OF KEITH AND LANCE???? WTF????
pidgeon: what.
mattholt: IDK MAN I WASNT THINKING
shiro: You what?
shiro: Can't get gayer than that.
pidgeon: i bet you could
shiro: True.
gordonramsay: EX Q U E E Z E ME
gordonramsay: YOU DID. YOU DID WHAT
gordonramsay: HOW DO YOU MAKE A FANFICTION
gordonramsay: OF TWO PEOPLE YOU KNOW
gordonramsay: WHILE DRUNK
doormatt: IDK
doormatt: and its. its good???? i cried? f o u r t i m e s??
shiro: Oh my god.
shiro: Could I read it? The fact you wrote it is. Disappointing but now I'm curious.
pidgeon: im not much of a fanfiction person but why not?
gordonramsay: omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg. you actually did this omg.
doormatt sent an attachment file.

a day later

shiro: Oh my god, matt.
doormatt: did you read it?
shiro: This is kind of amazing.
shiro: I cried more than I'd like to admit.
doormatt: whathskakqk?
pidgeon: woah, matt, that was actually really good?
pidgeon: i didnt cry but it was really good????
gordonramsay: OH MY GOOOOOOOOD WIWJJQJQNQN
gordonramsay: IM SOBBIJNNNNNGGGGG
gordonramsay: THATS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD
gordonramsay: but lance. he. his last name isnt sanchez
gordonramsay: also none of those sibling names are correct
doormatt: really? huh
doormatt: the more you know!
beatabitch: matt, that book is remarkable!!
beatabitch: its quite possibly my favorite romance novel if you subtract the fact its two people we know.
beatabitch: you did amazing!! you are such a good writer, matt!!
shiro: Also, I've only gotten four hours of sleep because i was reading this and sobbing. So thanks for that.
doormatt: anytime!!
corancoranthegorgeousman: ALAS, MY TEARS ARE ENDLESS!
pidgeon: wtf
corancoranthegorgeousman: EVERY WORD WAS HEART WRENCHING! OH, I AM BARELY ABLE TO TOLERATE THE PAIN!
doormatt: youre welcome! im glad i almost made you all have an anyeursm.

bill clinton is my daddy

gordonramsay: so lance, do you need someone to do your dirty laundry?
papi: what? yes.
papi: ARE YOU OFFERING FREE LAUNDRY
pidgeon: only if you shake on it and keith agrees to spend christmas at the sanchez household.
papi: huh?? whomst??
papi: whO ARE THE SANCHEZ
shiro: A ella gusta la gasolina
corancoranthegorgeousman: DAMA ME GASOLINA!
papi: WHAT????
tomhanks: uh
tomhanks: im not gonna spend any time at whoever the sanchez are
gordonramsay: NO LAUNDRY FOR YOU THEN
papi: WHAT THE F U C K
papi: dude, we had an agr e e m e n t.
gordonramsay: i know bro just save your anger for when sophia comes home
papi: wha????
tomhanks: can someone explain to me what the FUCK is going on??
gordonramsay: well well let you go ahead and dance to mamma mia by abba now
papi: ??????? UH
tomhanks: wtf guys
gordonramsay: also stand by me
tomhanks: im not an old man like you so i have no idea what any of those songs are
pidgeon: and remember dont piss off lances abuela
papi: ??????????????
papi: WHAT

___________________

i reread dirty laundry word for word and i sobbed twice and cried twice not counting sobbing LMAO WHY AM I LIKE THIS