Wake Not the Dead

CHAPTER 6: TWO STEPS FORWARD, ONE STEP BACK

CHAPTER 6 ONE STEP BACK AND TWO STEPS FORWARD

I had supposed that I’d just walk into my room. I didn’t.

Apparently my soul had bad timing. I went straight from Death to a REM cycle nightmare. I was being chased by the demon-dog. Except no matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t get any farther away and the dog kept growing bigger with every step I took.

I woke up in a cold sweat.

The clock glared neon green. Half past four in the morning. The unholy hour didn’t bother me— I didn’t want to sleep anymore. No more dreams, please.

Gah! I needed something. A strong handsome boyfriend’s arms to fall into would have been perfect. Sadly, that situation was clouded by the very distant future. What a crappy day and with the exception of that talk with Mom, now a crappy night. Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I wished I could rub that hellhound dream from my memory. I sat up in bed clutching my knees glaring at my horse jim jams. Funny, they had looked faded in exactly the same places as they had in my dream. The coincidence led my thoughts  towards a logical conclusion. It really was real. Of course, if Death was real and my mother was real, so was the hellhound and macabreys. Don’t think about that, Lex. Baby steps. Distract yourself!  I latched onto the first thing I could think of and wrenched my thoughts to more socially pressing issues, such as Dirk. Remembering yesterday, I groaned.   Dirk had probably laughed himself to sleep last night replaying my fainting fiasco. I sighed as I remembered that he’d canceled our study session. He probably thought I was the weirdest person he’d ever met. I needed chocolate. In large amounts.

By 4:45 I had a cup of steaming hot chocolate and bag of chocolate chips in hand and was flipping channels between a documentary on Ghandi and some bouffant lady hawking “time rings”, “It’s a watch and a ring.” Really? I had no idea. I wished they’d had come classic black and white movies on. Those were simple. Boy meets girl. Boy loves girl. She loves him back. The end. The occasional crinkle of my hand dipping into the bag of chocolate chips was the only sound that punctuated the early morning. Somewhere between one of Ghandi’s peace protests and “only thirty left, order now and you get our special bonus” (a second time ring for FREE), I decided to get ready for school.

Ditching the chocolate and dragging myself upstairs, I turned on the shower letting it get scalding hot before I got in. Ghandi. Pretty amazing guy. Maybe the combination of the early hour and the chocolate buzz had left me so impressionable but Ghandi’s hunger strikes and calm demeanor got me thinking.  Nothing fazed Ghandi. Something bad happened? No problem. He worked around it. Political issues? No problem. He stayed the course. He was unflappable. I needed to be like that. I could do that. If Ghandi could do it, I could do it. Between high school and hormones, I had about all I could handle. Now Death? Baby steps. You’ll have time for Death and more mother/daughter goth talks tonight. For now, survive high school. I’d need some serious nerve facing the school today after my lights out skit.

Ugh. I wished it was Friday. Or even Saturday. Any day but Wednesday. If I’d fainted on Friday at the end of school, no one would have remembered come Monday— the weekends would have pushed it right out of their minds. Instead, I still had today and tomorrow to get through. And coming to grips with the fact that Dirk probably thought I was a freak.

I braided my hair and was out the door for school with only a brief nod from my dad.

I was dreading the day as I pulled into my parking spot.

Gemma stood there as usual.  Stepping out of the car I was drenched in guilt and shame as Gemma said,“I told my mom about what happened yesterday and that you were hypoglycemic. So she ran to the store and got you these.” I stared mutely into her hands at the rainbow of individually wrapped organic fruit leather. My stomach sank lower. Not only had I lied to my best friend, but I’d also caused her mom to go out of her way for my “hypoglycemia.”