Logan's Gifts

Chapter 2: I Must Hate Myself

I remember our first kiss

The butterflies, I know you felt them too

I can still taste your lips

That night I wrapped up all my love in you

But deep inside I always knew

The sadness around you was deadly

I must hate myself

'Cause I also knew one day you'll destroy me

"In Another Life" - Madina Lake

~*~*~*~*~

The cheese stick things and the sauce were in a paper bag in my left hand, while the Dr. Pepper was in my right. My eyes sought out the little white convertible that Margo's mom owned.

Logan was clearly upset, because she probably heard Dean's big mouth--she decided to leave.

The white car was to my right a few rows down. Everything inside me told me to run, right to her; but I couldn't. I had to be calm and just try to be supportive-which is what I was intending to do.

I slowly approached the car, to see her brown waves sprawled over the backseat. Her forearm rested over her eyes while her other twiddled with her tank top hem. I tapped the Dr. Pepper bottle on the side of the door, to alert her that I was standing right behind her. No response.

"Lo." I said calmly. Still nothing. Her arm twitched just barely.

"Lo Langbroek." Just as calmly. Her small delicate fingers started to curl into her palm, forming a pale fist.

"Logan." I whispered, almost hating myself for calling her it.

But it did the trick, because she moved her arm from over her face, red eyes poking out to see whom it was. I held the bag of food and soda up for her to see. The hand that wasn't clutched in a fist rose shakily to her bangs to grasp them in a sigh. Just standing and watching her move was almost dream-like.

"Rane," she whispered, "of course you'd be the only person to call me by my real name."

I couldn't help but smile at how easily my name fell off her lips, her nice soft lips that I gladly ravished for two minutes almost two years ago. The smile didn't live long, because her words felt as if they were meant to hurt. She sat up quickly, opening the door and scooting over to make room for me.

It took me a moment to get over the initial shock that she was actually letting me in.

I quickly slid inside, shutting the door behind me. My hands rested the food and drink in front of her, eyes sliding up to meet hers. She quirked a naturally perfected eyebrow at me. "What is it?" Sweaty palms, meet swim trunks. Why? Because I'm more nervous now than I have ever been in my life. This one encounter could determine the rest of our weird ass connection we have.

"A... Logan Gift," I laughed.

Her hands disappeared into the bag, coming out with the cheese stick things, the other retrieving the sauce. The murky blue eyes shone brighter when she looked up to me, and our eyes met for the first time. All my muscles tensed as I forced myself to stay still and not do anything stupid. Like open my mouth and say how much I missed her.

She smiled, all white teeth and pink taunt lips stretching. "Cheese stick things, sauce, and D.P.? Thanks Rane," she laughed softly as she popped the lid off the sauce. I smiled along with her when she said 'cheese stick things' just like I did, also taking in the satisfaction that she smiled; because of me.

We sat in silence for a while, her eating, me starring.

"So," she swallowed her last cheese stick, "how's Kaylee?"