This wasn't supposed to happen

Professional help

       Sam and Dean were up for hours after you had gone to bed, researching on what to do. "Hey Dean, so get this." Sam says. "I've been researching about what to do all night and everything says that we should think about finding professional help."

"Professional help..?"

"Yeah, you know. Like a psychiatrist or therapist...or even both!"

"I know what you mean by that but don't you think that's a little risky?"

"What do you mean?"

"Let's say we do bring her to one. If she talks about what we all have done they'll have her admitted immediately. I don't think we need to take that leap yet, or at all even."

"True but she doesn't have to talk about hunting. Just about how she's feeling and why."

"What if hunting is why she's feeling this way. Or..." Dean trails off.

"Or what?"

"What is we're doing something wrong." Sam furrows his brow at this statement. Could we really be the ones making her feel this way?

"We can talk about this in the morning. Let's try to get some rest" Sam says getting up from his seat. "'Night."

"'Night."

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You wake up from your long, deep sleep, somehow still feeling as though you didn't sleep at all. You woke up around 11:00 am, way later than usual.

Making your way to the kitchen to get a small breakfast. You really don't eat much, maybe a few chips here and there and once in a while you'll eat half a burger for dinner. Your brothers never really have noticed your lack of eating but it hasn't really been a problem. You're not underweight so it's more beneficial to you, so you guys don't have to go out for food too often.

As you walk into the kitchen you notice Sam sitting at the table looking like he's about to fall asleep in his cereal. You quietly walk over to him lightly tapping his shoulder "Sam..." you whisper.

"Ah! Oh, good morning Y/n." He says startled as he rubs his eyes. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Totally..."

"Hm. Well, get some breakfast, wake up a little more, and then we'll meet dean in the library."

"You know what I have an idea! Let's not go to the library." You say semi sarcastically but in reality you're not joking.

"Y/n" he replies sympathetically. "You know we have to. We all need to talk. Now eat something, please"

"I don't want to."

"Well you need to."

"I know." You walk over to the fridge and grab an apple then sit across from Sam. You place the apple down and stare at it.

"What are you doing?" Sam sighs.

"Having my breakfast"

"You know, in order to have breakfast you gotta eat it."

"I'm taking my time." You say stubbornly

Sam sighs again. "Alright, lets go. Take your apple with you to the library. Is that all you're gonna eat?"

"Yes, Sam. And fine, I'll go."

"Thank you. Now c'mon."

As you as Sam walk down the hall you contemplate shutting yourself into on of the open rooms; but, Sam is walking close to you. Seemingly as if he's expecting you to try and run. The closer and closer you get the more your heart races. You do your best to take deep breaths and calm down and it's working a little bit.

"Hey sweetheart." Dean says as you and Sam make your way into the library. You notice some of the comfier chairs are set up so the three of you can sit. You start calm down a little more, knowing that this will feel like less of an interrogation without the table between you three. You sit in your favorite chair sitting with your legs crossed and your arms folded, trying to look everywhere but at Sam and Dean.

"How are you feeling right now, y/n?" Dean asks.

"Fine" you say.

"Y/n please just be honest with us, we know you're not fine."

"I don't want to be honest. I don't want to tell you guys what's going on. None of this was supposed to happen. We were supposed to come back here and things would be normal. I just want things to be normal again..."

"Things can be normal again, if you just tell us what's going on and let us help you." Sam interjects.

"I can't, Sam"

"Why not."

"Because I don't know what's wrong!"

* I finally updated! I hope you guys enjoy. Once again I am so sorry for the long wait but I'm hoping to be much more consistent from now on!*

*I may or may not be working on the next part right now ;)))*