✥Amnesia✥

I Want To

 “Wake her up!” My lungs constrict as I cough, sitting up. “You have to.” The grass has left my clothes damp and dingy as I rest on my knees. “Ron!” I screech as I notice him simply standing beside me, unresponsive. “Ron!” I pull on his jean leg, but he’s catatonic. I look around at the scene, the orange glow through the atmosphere. The heavy stench of smoke lingers all through the air. The flashing lights are hazy through the smog.  The wailing of the smoke alarm is still continuing.

 The smoke is pushing out of the open windows and doorways like water flooding a car, the same complete consumption. I can hear the odd chirping of radios as firemen rush by, hurrying to calm the raging fire. My room. I glance through my open window, now bare since the Caribbean curtains had been eaten by the heat. Fire seems to race across my ceiling in bursts. All the usual hanging pictures and bookshelves have been stripped from my wall. I jump back as the orange glow transforms into a red flash.

 A thump sounds beside me and I glance over to see Cameron kneeling beside me as the firefighters hustle around, finally calming the raging fire.

 “She’s gone.” He whispers, mostly to himself, his cerulean eyes reflecting the horrific scene in front of us. “She…it’s…all..gone.” He admits, shaking his head at the discovery. I place a hand on his back, making sure he’s okay with the contact before pulling him in for a hug.

 “It’s not easy on any of us and it’s not going to get any easier with the two of you MIA all day.” My dad has us in the small living room of the apartment, standing as the two of us sit on the rented couch. “You two are moping around all the time. Holland, you’ve barely left bed for the past week. And, Cameron, I haven’t been able to track you down for the past week.”

 “Don’t.” I can see the buildup of tears in Ron’s eyes as he speaks. Dad stops speaking and he stands still where he stopped. “Don’t you dare.”

 “…Ron..” I interrupt, unsure of what’s going to follow.

 “I’m sick and tired of you pretending you give a shit about us.” Dad crosses his hands over his chest as Cameron speaks, his voice rough. “Where were you when mom started her depression meds again?” His voice is cringingly loud as he rises from the couch. “Where were you when she had to pay the rent on her own that month? Where were you when I got accepted in MHU? Where were you when Hollie had her wisdom teeth out?” He’s stalking forward, pushing my dad back against the wall. “Where were you when she overdosed and set the house on fire because she didn’t know Hollie was inside!” The scream rings in my ears as his face grows red. His eyes are puffy and the vein in his neck is popping out. I gasp as he raises his fist, connecting it with our father’s nose.

 BANG.

 His head hits the wall from the blow.

 “That’s it.” He grunts, shoving Ron back. “Tomorrow, 6:40 you two have all of your shit packed and ready to go. Anne can fucking deal with the two of you.” He walks out of the room. Ron follows on his heels and throws a punch between his shoulder blades just before he leaves.

 “Ron..” I quietly speak up as he rushes back to the living room, taking his jumper off of the couch. “Ron.” I repeat, my eyes growing damp as the tears are pushed back. Don’t leave, please don’t leave. My throat’s strained. “R-“ The door closes. I hiccup and pull my knees in to my chest. He left.

 I sit there for minutes, trying to calm my breathing and keep my mind blank so I don’t fall to pieces. I hate this. I hate this situation.

 I can’t be here right now.