Little Forever (NashLene)

02

They were hit by a ten wheeler truck. The driver was drunk and was over speeding. Wasak na wasak ang sasakyan ni Kobe, milagro lang kung may nabuhay sa kanilang dalawa. Instead of heading in their house, I immediately went straight to the prison where the driver is held captive. I hit him many times and was hysterical and repeatedly told him how he killed Nash. How he ruined his future. I made sure that he sees the pain he had caused.

"Alam mo bang ginawa mo, ha?! Pinatay mo ang asawa ko! Winasak mo ang kinabukasan niya! Winasak mo ako!"

I repeatedly told him that until the police took him inside the cell. I weakly slumped on the floor and my father held me up. I was too weak. Hindi ko kayang tumayo mag-isa. I am so lost na hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Crying seems to be the only thing I can do right now. Crying seems to be the only escape I have.

After sa prisinto, dumiretso ako sa bahay nila. Pagdating ko doon, sineset up na nila ang lamay niya. Muli ay nasampal na naman ako ng katotohanan. I suddenly felt weak again. I still refuse to believe that he's gone. Na this is just a set up. Na trip trip lang 'to.

When I entered the house, there were already some of their other family members. I spotted Chloe slumped on the sofa and looking so lost. Her eyes are puffy and red. She stood up when she saw me and she immediately run to me and gave me a tight hug. My eyes are replenished with tears as I craddle her in my arms. The both of us are crying. I can't comfort her and tell her that it's okay. That we'll be able to pass this through. Kasi hindi yun yung nararamdaman ko. Kasi kahit sarili ko, hindi ko alam ang gagawin. Kasi kahit sarili ko, hindi ko alam kung kailan ako magiging okay o kung magiging maayos pa ba ako.

"Ate... ate... si kuya ko....si kuya..." was all that she can utter. I hugged her tighter and we both slumped on the floor. The both of us are now sobbing. Some of the people there were already looking at us but we didn't care. Tita Neth went to us and hugged the both of us. She was also crying.

"I'm so sorry we had to lose him this early. I'm so sorry" she told us which caused me to cry even more. Nakasalampak lang kami sa gitna ng sala nila at umiiyak. Some tried to approach us but would stop halfway. Maybe because they realize that this is what we need. We need to cry our hearts out. And that no amount of comforting words can ever suffice the pain and emptiness we are feeling.

A few hours passed at dumating na ang kabaong. Immediately, I asked them to open it. He's wearing the suit he was supposed to wear on our wedding day. Our wedding day which is only a week away. Hindi man lang kami umabot doon.

I immediately hugged him and kissed him. I didn't care if he's cold as ice. I just wanted to feel him again. I cried again refusing to let go.

"Baby I'm sorry. Sorry I din't get to spend more time with you. I'm sorry hindi mo ako kasama sa huling hininga. Baby I'm sorry. I'm sorry" I told him while sobbing. "I love you. I love you so much. Bumalik ka na sa'kin please"

My parents were both on my side. They both are holding me up as I cry my heart out in front if the man I love.

"Sharlene, anak. Nandito lang kami" my mothere whispered with trembling voice. I hugged her tight and cried hard in her arms. They closed the casket and they sat me down.

Madalas akong nakatulala sa buong panahon na nakalamay si Nash. Sa kwarto niya rin ako natutulog at niyayakap ko ang unan niya. It smelled so much like him. Every night, umiiyak ako hanggang sa paggising ko. Everyday, I still wish that this is just a dream. Na nasa hospital lang siya't nagtatrabaho. Na hindi niya ako iniwan. Na mayayakap ko pa siya't mahahalikan. Na maririnig ko pa rin ang boses niya. Na makakabuo pa kami ng sarili naming pamilya. Pero ang sakit sa dibdib ko't ang nakalamay niyang katawan ang sumasampal sa'kin ng katotohanan.