Hurt Him (Spamano)

Lovino

He isn't even sure whose bed he has woken up in. He shrugs his clothes back on carelessly, making sure bite marks are clearly visible on his neck, his chest, his legs. His lips are swollen, his hair is in disarray. He doesn't fix any of it, nor does he try to hide the odd way he has to walk.

It was another night with a nobody, but at least this nobody had had enthusiasm, passion, and size to spare. He had not thought Lovino was young or breakable, nor was he worried about corrupting him.

He hopes the other sees him. That's all he ever wants. Antonio's face after each night he whores himself out is his bitter prize, that he swallows with his pride. The pain, the sorrow, the guilt: these are all he has from the one he should be with instead.

But with no more recognition than that look, with all the longing that would otherwise be in his eyes buried deep in Antonio's locked heart, Lovino tilts his chin up (bares his marked throat), squares his shoulders (his ass is raw), and walks (limps) coolly passed him. He can see his fingers twitching, his lips muttering, trying to do his rosary as Lovino moves by him. A prayer for strength, for forgiveness, for redemption. Lovino didn't acknowledge the soft, fervent words with anything but disdain.

Antonio won't see him as a man, won't see him as an option. Lovino can do anything he wants to try to change that - sleep with as many people who so much as look his way, let them use him however they want - but he can't alter Antonio's tortured sense of morals.

But he can hurt him, and he can even make him want him, though it will never show. He can torture that man through show and action and submission to anyone else who gives him the time of day, the same way that Antonio has tortured him through neglect. If Antonio won't acknowledge him and what he can do, then he will flaunt in his face the marks of those who will.

Lovino hopes it hurts Antonio as much as it has hurt him.