this chapter might be boring and it might suck.
may 1st.
i can't remember why i'm writing this little note thing to you. (i guess it's because i found the ones you wrote) and i guess i just miss you, even if you did break my heart and my pencils. (i actually miss when you'd break my pencils. i wish you were doing that right now)
you broke my pencils just like you broke my heart.
i taped those back together, though. i just wish i could tape my heart back together. but that's scientifically impossible.
oh god, this is a mess and so am i. you hated messes, remember?
i'm a mess and i'm sorry for that.
i'm a mess that is still in love with you.
a mess that misses you so much.
harry stared at the note he had just written. he had no idea why he was wrote it because he wasn't going to give it to her -maybe. and even if he did give it to her, she wouldn't read it.
i still have that shirt you left at our... my house from our last night together. it smells like you and it's driving me insane.
i miss you so much.
the shirt isn't the only thing that smells like you. everything does.
everything smells like you.
everything reminds me of you.
harry's hands were starting to shake and his eyes were watering. but he didn't want to stop there.
i haven't left our (i'm going to have to stop saying that soon, won't i?) house in two weeks and everyone thinks i'm mourning but i think i'm passed that. and i think i've passed extremely sad.
if there even is a place past that.
i miss you so much.
i miss you more than that.
honesty, i don't think there is a word in the english dictionary that even begins to describe how much i miss you.
but i don't think there is. so for now all i have are these three words:
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i will never be able to say that enough.
harry was about to write another line but then there was a knock at his door. he wasn't expecting anyone. everyone knew harry was upset and everyone chose to leave him alone.
i'm going to have to stop writing here because there is someone at the door.
i miss you. and i love you.
-harry, the boy who misses you xx.
harry dropped the old broken pencil on the desk, pushed his chair back and got up to open the door.
when he opened it he was expecting someone he knew, like one of his friends or the mailman that had stopped by so many times in the last two weeks than he has in the last year. but he was surprised when his eyes landed on a brunette girl maybe a foot and few inches shorter than him. just like she was, harry thought to himself. she had brown eyes, just like she did. and her lips were almost the same, maybe a bit thicker but and a shade of pink darker but she looked almost like she did.
"hi, i'm sorry to bother you but my car broke down and it's raining and it looks like your neighbours aren't home," she was rambling on and on. and all harry could think was, avery did that. avery looked like that. Oh god.
"um, hello?" the girl said again. that brought harry out of his daze.
"oh, um, do you want use my phone or something?"
maybe he was going crazy again. or maybe he was just sleep deprived because he hasn't slept since she left him.
the girl nodded her head and harry let her in. he was still trying to get a grip on this situation. maybe it would help if he knew her name. but he was too afraid to ask for it.
it was the girl that told him her name. "i'm sophia," she said. "and you are?"
"h-harry," he stammered.
sophia and harry stood still until harry heard his phone ring and he remembered why sophia was in his home.
"um, excuse me," he said, walking past her to his desk to retrieve his phone. he looked at the caller id and saw that it was friend chase.
chase had already called him eight other times and had texted him a dozen, but harry kept on ignoring him. he didn't want to speak to ed. or anyone for that matter. the only person he wanted to speak to was avery and he couldn't.
harry, with his phone in hand, walked back to where sophia was still standing. she hadn't moved from her spot besides the coatrack, too nervous and slightly afraid to sit or move.
harry handed his phone to sophia and she dialed the number to someone. harry didn't bother to listen in, he only payed attention to the girl that was pacing back and forth in front of him.
harry noticed a lot of similarities between the girl, sophia, and avery. he wish he hadn't opened the door and he wished that sophia did not look like avery, and that sophia didn't chew on her bottom lip like avery did when she was waiting for someone to answer the phone. he wished that avery hadn't left him.
harry's been wishing a lot since avery left. and harry noticed that too. just like he noticed sophia's eyes began to fill with tears right before she hung up the phone.
harry was hesitant to say anything to her. he didn't want to ask her what was wrong or what happened to her. but she looked so distraught. her bottom lip was quivering and her hands were shaking.
harry had to say something but he didn't know what to say. he just stood there and watched her cry. it was when she finally made eye contact, was he ready to speak. but she beat him to it.
"oh god, I'm so sorry," she said, trying to wipe her tears away. harry stayed quiet.
"you probably think i'm some freak now," the girl said. she tried to mask her sadness with a fake chuckle but harry didn't buy it.
he shook his head at her remark. sophia nodded.
it was silent for a couple minutes until sophia spoke up again, "my ride, it should be here any moment."
harry nodded, again not saying a word to her. the two stood in silence for a long time. not saying anything or moving at all. they just stood in harry's small entrance hall. neither knew what to say to the other. it could be that they rarely knew each other. or it could have been the fact that sophia reminded harry of avery and that made him sad but he couldn't show any emotion in front of her. though, sophia had just done so, he didn't want to.
the silence lasted for a long while until a car pulled up and shortly after there was a knock at harry's front door. sophia's ride was here. she thanked him and left his home. and leaving him alone, like it has been for the past two weeks.
harry stood there, alone and sad, very sad. he was also confused and slightly frightened. i would think you would too if you saw a girl who looked almost identical to your significant other.
it was almost as if sophia was a ghost. maybe she's here to remind me that i did something to made avery want to leave, harry thought to himself. and he was wrong of course. he knew, sort of, why avery decided to do what she did. and it was most definitely not his fault. it was far from his fault, but he still felt as it was.
