Professor Ravi !? (Reader Insert!) 18+ Smut

I Shouldn't Feel This Way, But I Am.

"They sure did."
I told her, leaning against the doorframe, crossed arms.

I hadn't been able to sleep, thinking about the girl sleeping in the opposite room and why I didn't feel any disturbance at her presence. Instead, I revelled in it, the  naturalness of her being here, in my proximity. I couldn't control my comfort. And I felt rifled at my feelings. Didn't I marry my wife because I wanted to? I should revel in her presence, not hers. But I was never this comfortable with her. Our love was there, wasn't it? I don't know anymore. Was it even love?
My eyes drifted to the light coming from the room across the hallway. Is she still awake?
So, I went to her room to check up on her. As I shifted my weight to the doorframe, she sat up with that picture in her hand, the one I used to cherish a long ago. With her hair drawing shadows on her eyes, she said those words to herself. And I couldn't control my comment.

"Wonshik? Can't sleep?" she said, with a tinge of red staining her soft-looking cheeks, her dark lashes fluttering.
"Shouldn't I be the one asking that?" I chuckle, lopsidedly smiling. I walk up to her and she shifts a little, patting the space beside her with an innocently inviting smile playing on her lush lips.

~~~

He sat beside me, the mattress dipping under his weight. "That was a long time back. The little guy has grown a lot since then." he says with a slight smile. "Really? How old is he now?"
"Much younger than you, ma'am."
"Hey! I'm not that old!"
"That's the point."
"Wha-? You know what, forget it. And what do you mean 'they did'. ? "
He lets out a sigh. His droopy eyes look at me as he explains, "Just as the kid has grown, so has the distance between the two seemingly adults in the photo.
" We were young and we were stupid. We didn't understand love and marriage. We rushed into things just by the looks of it, not the true feeling.
"We made mistakes, but we were together, if not so much in 'love' anymore. After he was born, we found a reason to be together. At that time, our love was mutually empty it seemed. But a marriage based only on a child doesn't last long, even he understood that. Both of us wanted his happiness the most, we realised that some time ago. And we decided to part ways.
"That's why they aren't home right now. She wanted to discuss things with her family and the kid wants to be with his mother, so he's with her. As much as I want him to stay with me, I can't force him, he can make his decisions now. " He smiles and my heart clutches his feelings with a pang.
"I'm so horrible, aren't I?" he hunches, elbows resting in his knees. "No... You -", my voice is nothing but a whisper.
"I should be disgusted by myself, my indifference at the breakdown of my marriage, yet I - I can't bring myself to... This feels so.. so wrong, me not in despair but in relaxation at all this." A low sob "I should be ashamed... That I can't love her, not even hate her.. But... But I married her didn't I? I-I can't, I shouldn't... I don't deserve happiness, I'm so horrible and helpless... I should just disappear and no one will miss me, would they, huh?" He raises his head, and seeing the glistening tracks beneath his sad eyes shatters my heart. With a swift movement, I'm in front of him.
"Please stop it!" I beg. "You're not worthless, you matter to a lot of people! You are so kind, do you know? You gave me shelter, you gave me warmth, gave me light! You became my reason to wake up and face the world!"  I drop to my knees in front of him, as do my tears. His eyes are wide, shocked.
"Are you blind? Can't you see that your existence is a huge part of me and will always be! You  motivated me, encouraged me and changed me! All I want to see is you living with happiness..." My voice cracks. I look straight at his deep orbs.
" I know this is really selfish but Wonshik, I-I ended up liking you more than a student should... I'm so sorry... I couldn't hel-"
My words are cut off as he engulfs me in a tight hug. I blink as the tears sluice down, wetting his shoulder. I close my eyes, shudder and fall into his warm embrace, wrapping my arms around his middle and rest my hands on his muscular back, clutching his shirt.
As he pulls back after a while, my name rolls of his tongue and his name from mine.
"Wonshik..."

😢