05/02/18
Hey, Jasper. How are you? Probably better now I'm gone, isn't that right?
Oh, by the way, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said and for accusing you of things. But, sorry doesn't mean anything, does it? No. That's what you said when I tried apologising. You told me 'sorry' meant nothing to you, that you wouldn't ever forgive me. I tried to tell you my side of the story, you ignored me. I mean, of course you ignored me, I deserved to be ignored. But after a while, the silent treatment gets old. You wanted to talk to me—you needed to—I know you did. But instead of talking to me, you spoke to my friends. I don't know how you did it, but you managed to turn my "ever-so-loyal friends" against me. They snapped at me. They started arguments with me for no reason. They gave me looks and walked away from me when I tried to talk to them. They treated me like shit. But that's what you wanted, right? To make me feel like an outsider, to make me feel worthless and unloved.
Thankfully, you couldn't turn the ones closest to me, the three people that wouldn't ever leave me. You kept trying though. You kept trying to get under Tessa's skin, telling her lies about me. Yeah, she didn't listen, did she? She stayed loyal to me. Sadly for you, Hayden, Maya and Tessa wouldn't ever leave me. Honestly they were the only ones I cared about, everyone else could fuck off and go live some life without me in it, I didn't really care. Okay, I lied. I care about a few more, like Natalie, Blair and Sarah. I managed to salvage some of their love for me. But they were still on your side. I still felt isolated and trapped. Seeing my friends'—old friends'— glares, hearing their words and seeing you laugh with them made me feel like I was underwater. I was underwater in an unbreakable glass box—with no air. Every time I saw my old friends, my chest tightened and I was in my little glass box again. I was struggling to breathe. Physically, I couldn't breathe. I was a prisoner to my own lungs. So thanks, Jasper. You and your gang of lies, glares and whispers made me a prisoner.
.From Caitlin
YOU ARE READING
.From Caitlin
Short Storyto: all Hey, it's Caitlin. Remember me? Of course you do, my death was only recently, but do you remember why I died. Or did you even know? Well whether you did or not, after reading your letters, you will. You don't have to read your letters, but...
