.From Caitlin

to: hayden

13/02/18

Ever been ignored, Hayden? Have you ever been looked over, missed out completely? Have you ever felt like the one person you wanted to share everything with, didn't want you to share things with them? Or, have you ever felt like you weren't a priority to someone, even though they told you that you were? They told you that they cared every time you doubted it, but still you found some reason to not believe them. Like you were convincing yourself that they didn't care at all. They probably did, but they didn't show it in a very efficient or noticeable way. They said they wanted to hear your problems, but did they really? Or were they using your problems to out their own? You'll never know. Unless you ask. So, I'm asking you Hayden. Were you using my problems as a sentence starter for your own? Because that's what it felt like. It felt like you were overlooking my issues and concentrating on your own. I tried to tell you I wasn't okay. But you just turned around and said "yeah I feel really depressed lately". Well, did you feel depressed enough to kill yourself? Did you feel lonely enough, broken enough or numb enough? Did you feel crazy, unwanted and misunderstood? Because I did. I think you knew that I felt like that, but you just failed to give a shit.
You failed me, Hayden. But you could've succeeded; by asking that simple question. Asking and listening to my answer. You should've asked if I was okay, then listened to me when I said I wasn't. To be honest, they are a lot of things you should've done but didn't. A lot of things you should've said, and a heck of a lot of things you shouldn't have said. There are so many things that you could've done to save me, but you just couldn't see the warning signs. You couldn't see the little girl crumbling right in front of your eyes. Well, now do you see? Do you see now what you should've seen then?
.From Caitlin