Dear Mind

Dear Anxiety

Dear Anxiety,

You are like that friend who you don't want around but who stays anyway. you're like a ghost that nobody understands, except me. Anxiety you are like my deepest fear, always coming out, and making a mess of everything. Anxiety you are something that consumes me and grows bigger and bigger when someone says "you shouldn't worry about it" Or "it's a small thing, don't freak out." You are a black void that follows me around waiting for the right moment to strike, and when you do you make me sweat and feel scared. Anxiety you are like that other friend who almost always brings your girlfriend depression, and when you anxiety, are around her you get worse, then she starts trying to make my day terrible.

Anxiety, you are like that teacher that you just get used to, but just don't know how to handle sometimes. Anxiety I don't know when you will ever strike, so you are like a YouTube channel, who randomly uploads videos except your videos are for me and are always my worst nightmares. When you upload your videos I'm forced to watch them, and when I watch your videos they tell me I'm not good enough. They tell me that my friends hate me and that I'm going to have nobody with me when I die. When other people watch me get forced to watch your videos I look like I don't care, it makes me seem vulnerable and disliked to others. Anxiety,  because you are so unpredictable I don't go places on purpose because I don't know if you are going to strike or not. Anxiety you are like a kidnapper forcing me to say the wrong things to other people and forcing me to do things I shouldn't.

Anxiety, you are a demon in my head and when you come out you make me feel like a burden. Anxiety you are all these things but I try to control you, I try and tell you to stop but you are like a parent who is mad and doesn't listen. I try and stop you and your girlfriend but you guys just come right back like a dog coming to their master. except the dog bites their master and makes thier life terrible. Anxiety I can't get rid of you no matter how much I try because of you Anxiety, every day is a battle that I feel I can't win because you Always yell at me saying that I can't do it, that I can't do anything no matter what I do.

Anxiety you make me feel trapped in a hug that I don't want to be in. Anxiety I want you to go away but you don't go away instead you get stronger. Anxiety you make me angry, not at you but at other people, you make me snap at people and yell at them for nothing, you make me scared to speak to people and give me fear talking to people. Anxiety you make me scared to leave anybody behind and make me fear to be alone in a house for even 5 minutes. Sometimes, Anxiety you are like that child that never leaves the disappointed and ashamed parent's basement, except that basement is my mind Anxiety you are that child and I am the ashamed parents who want to kick you out but can't.

Anxiety I live with you every day and I want you to get out of the basement that is my mind but Anxiety you won't ever do that, I know you won't move out of my basement no matter how much you weigh me down.

Sincerely, your victim

please don't end your life you have so much more to live for I promise. if you know a friend who is going through a rough time please try and help them this is not a joke please if you need it here is the suicide hotline number please instead of ending your life call this number  800-237-8255