Full Circle

Chapter 13 - Daggers

Updated a day late than usual. Sorry! I'm on vacation so I wasn't able to finish this chapter earlier. Plus, this is really long. I even had to cut some parts, will just include them next chapter.

Please enjoy!

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Phana POV

The sun is shining brightly this morning, but it doesn't help bring the life back to my soul. I'm still existing, but I already stopped living. After my conversation with Dr. Prachaya yesterday, everything turned gray - the park that was full of our dreams, my car that was filled with his sweet scent and my dorm that was overflowing with our happy memories - and soon, everything will turn pitch black, with me in the center... alone.

I prayed so hard for this day not to come, but not because my death is drawing closer by a day. I've already come to terms with my fate. I have accepted that I'm just counting days before I die. I feared this day because this is the day that my heart will stop beating. This is the day I will break the heart of the person I cherish the most. The day I will destroy what we've built together.

Maybe I've been a terrible person to deserve this fate - not the imminent death, that's the easy part; but the torture of having to hurt your other half with your own hands. Fine, if this is karma for me, then so be it. But why does he have to be involved? Why does my Wayo have to hurt with me when he did nothing wrong? He is such a good and kind-hearted person to deserve the emotional beating he's about to get. At first, I thought the thing with Park and Pring was already the worst experience he could have, and that when it was finally over, his share of bad karma in this world is done. But then this happened. Is he just being dragged into this mess because of me? Am I the bad karma in his life?

My phone sounds off. I've been receiving messages since early this morning, but I didn't pay attention to them. I finally decide to check and saw several messages from Yo, Beam, Kit and a few others. I read the messages from my bestfriends first.

Beam: Kit, can I borrow your laptop charger later? I forgot my charger at home.

Kit: Tsk! You always forget something during the first day of classes, don't you?

Beam: Ugh! And you never forget to scold me during the first day, don't you?

Kit: Fine. I'll see you later in class.

I shake my head and slightly chuckle. These two are always like this during the start of the semester. I catch myself feeling sad as I realize that I won't get to see them anymore. My bestfriends since I could remember, who helped me get through my boring and meaningless life before meeting Yo. My bestfriends who were always there for me and had my back. My bestfriends who helped me chase and eventually win the love of my life. My bestfriends who never failed to see the good in me, that even I didn't know existed.

I actually don't have a problem telling them the truth because I'm pretty sure they would understand. Yes, they're as stubborn as my baby and wouldn't hesitate to risk their healths just to be by my side until the end, but, just like me, they are also protecting someone who mean the world to them - their boyfriends. And because of this, I know they would grant my wish of keeping a safe distance from them, so I wouldn't have to worry about getting them infected. However, I also know for a fact that they won't be able to resist telling Ming and Forth about me, which would eventually reach Yo, and that's what I'm trying to avoid. I won't take the chance of leaving even just a small crack to the safety wall I'm building for my baby. My plan to keep him well and safe from me must be foolproof, and that is the reason why I must leave my bestfriends out of this, too. I pause for a while as I say my silent thanks to Kit and Beam, my brothers.