The man that you fear

582 14 2
                                    

1996

Twiggy's P.O.V:

"Jeordie hand me my fucking contacts!" His familiar voice snarled from across the room. I sighed and stood up, carefully stepping over to the man I once loved but now feared. "Here, Brian" I muttered, handing him his contact lenses pot. Instead of thanking me, he snatched them from my hand and shoved the white pieces of plastic into his orbs. "Fuck off, Jeordie!" He yelled. I sighed again and trudged back to my seat in the corner of the dull dressing room.

He's like this now. An arrogant creature without any remorse. We all run around after him like he's some higher being because we're afraid of him. We never used to be. He was sweet and gentle and he loved me...he loved me alot. I'm certain he hates me or something now because all he ever does is yell.

"Come on guys! You're late!" I hear our tour manager grunt. "Yeah, yeah maybe if you stop nagging we'll hurry up!" Manson snapped. I groaned and followed Manson back stage where we found Pogo, Zim and Ginger. They seemed depressed as fuck as always. Brian poured beer down his throat and rolled his eyes at us before heading on stage. Us four gave eachother a sympathetic glance and nod before also heading on stage.

"Hallelujah motherfucker!" Manson roared into the mic, causing the crowd to scream his name. That was our cue to start playing. "She's made of hair and bone and little teeth, things that cannot speak." His raspy voice sung. My heart dropped and memories flooded back into my head. This song, Tourniquet was originally written for me way back when. Of course the pronouns have now been changed to 'she' instead of 'he'. Brian, of course identified as straight now and didn't want anyone thinking he was a 'fag' as he says. "Take your hatred out on me! Make your victim my head." My dreads were now flying all over the place as I head banged my feelings away. "I never wanted this love to ever spoil, but flies will lay their eggs." That one fucking line always sends me over the edge with the truth of it. I let out a scream and jumped up and down, smashing my hands into my bass. No one questioned me of course but the pain I was feeling then was real.

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It was over. Finally over. An hour of jumping around and screaming had come to an end. We smashed up the whole stage and threw shit into the crowd. We all ran back stage, hyped as fuck. I swear performing is better than drugs sometimes.

"Fuck yeah!" Zimmy cheered. Pogo laughed at his enthusiasm and they gave eachother a warm smile. I looked over to Manson with a grin on my face before realising he wasn't even paying attention he had already fucked off to go talk to some slut. Fuck him.

Ginger was now hugging Zim and they were chatting. I sighed and stared down to my warn out combat boots. I felt someone nudge me. I looked up to see Pogo smiling at me. "Cheer up, Twigs" he encouraged. I forced a smile. "I'm fine, Stephen, really." I lied. "Don't worry about that asshole." He whispered, looking over to Brian, laughing with some whore who must of snuck back stage. "What? I don't give a shit about Marilyn!" I almost yelled. Brian's attention instantly snapped at me. He glared with hatred then continued to chat with the girl.

"Twiggy, we know you still have feelings for him." Pogo said, rubbing my shoulders. "He's not right for you, J, you know that." Zim suddenly said, walking over. "I mean back then you were an adorable couple but that was nearly three years ago. Things change." Zim informed. I sighed deeply. "I know. But enough about Brian, should we go get pissed?" I grinned, Trying to lighten the mood. Everyone nodded. "Me too!" Manson yelled, storming over. "What happened to your hooker?" I angrily asked, rolling my eyes. Suddenly my throat was grabbed and I was pinned against the wall, in the air. Brian cocked his head and let out an animalistic growl as his white eyes stared into mine. I choked and whimpered. He was 6'3 now and also wearing platforms. He began eating again too, giving him extra strength. I winced. "Shut your dirty mouth, faggot!" He snarled, spitting in my face. "Brian fucking put him down!" Another voice instructed. We all turned around to see Zepp, one of our best friends who also helped to produce our album. Manson quickly dropped me, leaving me to smash my body on the floor. He went to to Zepp and stomped on his foot before pushing past him and storming out.

"Shit, Twiggy! Are you okay??" Zepp asked, helping me up. Everyone else stared in disbelief. "I'm fine!" I whimpered, in alot of pain. Zepp began to brush me off. "Get the fuck off me! I said I was fine!" I snapped, pushing him off me and running out the door.

I went to hide in the bathroom. I sat on the floor and cowered in the dark, sobbing silently. I'm such a coward! I thought to myself. About ten minutes had passed and no one had come to find me. I guess no one gives a shit about me, as always. I had stopped crying and was about to leave when the door knob jiggled.

My heart stopped. I already knew who it was. My breathing became ragged and heavy and suddenly the light was turned on, causing me to squint. The tall black silhouette stood over me. My vision came into focus and a sympathetic look was plastered into his face. "Oh, Jeordie" he sighed, crouching down infront of me. He used my first name? He hasn't done that in two years. I crawled backwards until my back hit the wall. I began to sob again. I flinched as his large hand cupped my cheek and he used his thumb to wipe away my tears. "I wont hurt you, sweetie" He took my hands and pull me up. He pulled me into him and rested his head on mine. Fuck I missed this so much. I gripped him tightly, nuzzling in to him.

He suddenly let go of me and whispered in my ear. "Oh, Twiggy you really think I love a piece of shit like you?" What...? I looked up at him, my smile instantly faded. His black lips curled into a sickening grin as his heavy boot slammed into my stomach. The small amount of food that I had in me and stomach acid shot out of my mouth and all down my dress as I stumbled backwards and fell into the bathtub. The monster paced up to me and I watched as his hand turned into a fist. "No, No! Brian please I'm sorry!" But it was too late. His fist slammed into my face again and again. Blood poured from my mouth and nose and I felt my eyes swell up. I was Completly useless under him. I was nothing. The punches kept on coming until I couldn't feel anymore. Every thing went dark.

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I was awoken to muffled yelling and too many bright lights. I groaned and tried to roll over, thinking I had just woken up in my bed, but I was stopped by hands pushing me backwards. I opened my eyes fully to see three doctors, Pogo and Daisy. Wait...Daisy??

"Where the fuck am I?" I began to flail. "Twigs, you're being rushed to the emergency room. Calm down!" "What why?!" I shouted, trying harder to sit up, only to be pushed back down again. I was then taken into a private hospital room and placed on a bed. "Wait here, a nurse will be here to examine you shortly." I was informed.

"Pogo what the fuck is going on? Why is Daisy here? And-" fuck the amount of pain I was in just hit me and so did the memories. "Oh..." the tears came back and I started to break down. Daisy came over to hug me, I hugged back as hard as I could. "I missed you so Damn much, Scott." I whimpered into his shoulder. "I missed you too, Twiggy. I'm here because I watched your show tonight and let me tell you, you we're amazing sweetheart." He smiles, causing me to blush.

"Twiggy," Pogo started with a serious expression and voice laced with anxiety. "Did Brian do this to you?" Was it that obvious? "Y-yes" I murmured, staring down at the floor. "Ohh, Twiggy" He sympathized. And then the doctor came in holding a clip board.

"Hello I'd like to ask you a few personal questions, is that okay?" He asked, I nodded. "Name?" Was his first question. "Twiggy Ramirez" I stated, they all looked at me in confusion. "His name is Jeordie white" Pogo awkwardly laughed. The doctor nodded and wrote it down. How hard did Manson punch me?

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