Uncertain- Lams Highschool fic

SIX

Alex's POV

When John and I got home I went to my room to do my homework. I had an English essay and math homework. I worked on the essay to avoid having to do the math. I wrote about 51 pages. I figure that was enough. I go to John's room to see what he's doing. 

"Hey, John," 

"Hey, Alex, What's up." 

"Nothing, I'm just bored and wanted to know what you were doing." 

 "I'm drawing."

"Drawing what?" 

"Turtles." 

"Cool." I lay down on his bed next to him and sit on my phone. 

"What did you think of school?" 

"It was pretty cool. Other than math. Math is stupid." 

"I can help you. I'm pretty good at math."

"Can you just do it for me? I'll do your English for you."

"No. But I will help you understand it. Go grab it."

"Fine." I grab my math homework and a pencil and go back to John's room. We go through each question and he explains it all to me. It takes super long but now I understand it better. 

-----------

John's POV

I look at my phone to see that it was three in the morning. Alex and I should probably go to sleep but If I went to sleep now, I would probably sleep through my alarm. So I don't mention the time to Alex. He probably wouldn't notice anyway.

"So how was your day at school?" Alex asked me. 

"My day was good." 

"Can I ask you a question?" 

"Shoot." 

"I don't have a gun though." 

"No. It means ask your question."

'Oh. At lunch today, before Sam came over, Lafayette and Eliza were making jokes about BDSM? The thought was in my head all day. What is it?" Oh, Jesus fuck. I did not expect that question. Does he even know what sex is? God, I'm going to have to explain everything. I just lie to him. He can ask Laf in the morning. He can have the pleasure of telling him that. 

"I have no idea. Ask Laf tomorrow." 

"Okay. Hey, I guess we're both confused on something now." 

"Yeah. Are you confused on anything else?" 

"Lots." 

"Name one thing." 

"Why do people feel the need to be so mean all the time?" 

"I don't know. I guess they're just douche bags. Who cares though. We can just ignore them. As long as we have cool friends that love us we are good." 

"Love is weird. Like you can love someone as a friend and they can be cool with it but once you love them as you want to kiss them. It's weird to them. But love is just loving right, you can't love your friends any differently than you love your boyfriend or girlfriend right?" 

"Did you even understand what half of that was?" 

"Yeah, you taught it to me. Love and stuff."

"Right. and to sort of answer your previous question, loving a friend is no different than loving a boyfriend or girlfriend. It's just that you kiss them and cuddle them too." 

"I'm even more confused." 

"It's hard to explain." 

"So if I had a friend that I wanted to be my boyfriend or girlfriend, what would I say to them?"  Did Alex like someone? I need to know more.

"How good of a friend is this friend?" 

"Like, good friend." Okay, so that narrows it down to about our friend group. 

"Is this friend a girl or boy?" 

"Does it matter?" 

"Yes." No. I just need to figure this out.

"Boy." Okay, so that leaves Laf, Herc, Aaron and me. I believe I can cross out Aaron because I don't think Alex has ever said a word to him. I'm placing my bets on Laf. There's no way it's me and Laf is always really helpful. 

"I guess, just say, Hey. I really like you. Do you want to go out sometime?"

"What if they say no?" 

"Than I guess you'll have to just remain friends." 

"Okay." 

"Do you like someone?" 

"Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to ask them out. I don't think they like me that way." 

"Who?" 

"I can't say." 

"New topic. What does someone do with a boyfriend or girlfriend?" Why did he change the topic? I want to know who Alex likes.

"Talk to them, cuddle them, kiss them, tell them I love you."  

"Cool. Another question."

"Okay." 

"What's a baguette? Hercules always calls Lafayette a baguette and it's so confusing.

"It's just a long bread from France." 

"What's France."

"a country. It's where Lafayette is from." 

"Oh. Okay. we should probably be getting to bed. It's probably late."

"Nah." 

"I'm going to bed."

"Pointless. it's five am. I'll be waking you in an hour for school." 

"Fine. What will we do until then." 

"We could just lay here." 

"I'll fall asleep." 

"Fine. Let's keep talking. You never answered my question. Who do you like?" 

"I Like lots of people. There are so many people I think are cool and that I like as friends." Damn. for a guy that hardly knows anything, He sure is smart. 

"Alex. you can tell me." 

"No, I can't." 

"Why not?"

"Because it would be weird." Why would be it weird other than if it was... me? There was no way. As much as I wish it were me, there is no way Alex could see me as more than a friend. 

"Okay fine." 

"Who do you like?" 

"Buddy, I can't tell you that if you're not going to tell me who like." 

"I want to tell you it's just..."

"Just what?'

-------

Alex's POV

I wanted to tell John that I liked him. I just didn't know how. I had this feeling in my stomach whenever I tried. I need some way to tell him without speaking. I could kiss him. I didn't know what kissing really was but John told me it was when you put your lips on someone else's lips. So I did. I kissed John.