Beneath The Mask: Daydreamer

Chapter 4 - Memory

A lot of things can trigger or be associated with certain memories. Certain sounds - like the soft chirping of birds on a cool spring morning. A sound that is linked to the delicate build of the soul. A sight. A smell. Anything that can associate the mind with a certain moment in time.

For Akira Kurusu, this was true of the fall. The coming of winter. The coming of white.

As the teenage boy stood outside the cafe in which he resided, looking up to the sky, he felt that all too familiar sensation of panic and helplessness wash over him. The sting of betrayal.

A family that sent him away, believing he would commit a crime, and he was better off away from them. A victim of a crime, saved by him, yet stood against him in court, only worsening his case.

The wind was cool as he stood with his hands in his pockets, staring at the somewhat grey clouds rolling across the sky. The shiver that ran through his body as he stood simply in a short sleeved shirt and a thin pair of jeans to cover him was familiar as well. It had been cold that night. Very cold.

Not as cold as he was now, though. It was as if he was chilled to the core these days. Even when the weather was warmer he still felt cold.

Akira sighed quietly, watching his breath rise and fade in the crisp morning air before closing his eyes.

He was tired. Still. The last couple of weeks he'd basically done nothing but sleep, but he was still tired. The daydreams were getting worse. He now found himself expecting one most every day. They no longer frightened him as much, though they still left him feeling empty, drained and depressed. That was the only way he could describe it. He just hurt inside.

"Hey, kid! Get inside, you're gonna catch a cold!"

Akira let his head drop, taking in one last breath of the cool air before turning to see Sojiro, standing at the door of the cafe. The man wore a rather worried expression.

It's the same.. Akira thought to himself.

Everyone looked at him like that now. Everyone. The sympathetic looks, the incessant questions. They only made him feel worse. Because he wanted nothing more than to give in, to tell his friends. To tell them how bad he felt, how much he hurt inside. To break down and cry, let everything out. But he couldn't. He couldn't burden them with such things. Which is why it annoyed him that they pried and pried; it was worrying them. He didn't want to do that to them, and it only made his own pain worse.

Sojiro let a hand rest on Akira's shoulder as he entered the cafe, stopping the boy. He frowned slightly as he studied Akira's face, and the teen sighed in response. He did this every day now, multiple times.

"You still don't look very well," Sojiro raised his other hand, placing it on Akira's forehead, "you don't have a fever though.. not any more. Are you just tired?"

Akira failed to respond, and Sojiro sighed deeply and stepped away slightly, rubbing at his eyes under his glasses.

"Please tell me.. what's wrong? I don't care how much you say it; you are not fine. I'm worried, your friends are worried.. damn it, even the cat seems worried! Whatever is getting to you, please.. if you can't tell your friends, at least tell me! I can't sit here and watch you wasting away like this!"

Akira looked down at the floor, chewing his bottom lip. He wanted to tell Sojiro, but he already had enough to worry about with taking care of him, let alone his emotional issues.

"It's been how long now? And you still hardly eat, you've dropped a fair amount of weight, and you were skinny enough to begin with, and you always look so exhausted even though you basically sleep all the time!"