The Totally Nerdy Life Of Ashley

Stuff

ACK I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS IN A LONG TIME....

Heres another thing thats a pretty big part of my life.

My sisters live with autism.

I sturggle with a sorta eating disorder.

And I have depression.

My sisters Living with autism makes it crazy in the house. They dont know how to talk. They don't know how to express there feelings. It also makes them do a lot of crazy shit that me and my mom can't hadle.

Next, my sorta eating disorder. I call that cause thats just how I view it. I eat to fast. I end up wanting more food. PLEASE do me a favor and NEVER eat your Food fast. NEVER. It becomes a habbit. Then you start wanting more food. And then.. Well. You know whats next. And I've already had to take thise diabetes tests to see if I have anything in my blood. Turns out I have *Inhhale* Cholesterol.  So.. Yeah.

Now onto the final part. My depression. I started feeling depressed in 3rd grade. Because I moved to a new school. My nerdy ass was bullied. And I thought it was because I was... "Fat"... At least thats how I thought of myself. I felt worthless. And it only got worse in 4th grade. I legit. Got into the same class as my bully. Eventually she started bullying my friends. So.. Then came 5th grade. And by that point. I only wore black. Gray. White and navy blue. I got in class expecting for nothing but a horrible year of being bullied for the following:

Being a nerd
Reading comics
Wearing black
Being "Fat"
Being Into ducktales
Still watching kids shows. Like Mickey mouse clubhouse.

So anyway. I got into 5th grade. And lets just say. I had the most amazing teacher ever! She was funny. She was awesome. She did focus on school work. And I learned a lot about myself from being in her class. She could see it in me that I was depressed. She actually helped. She said I wasn't any of the things I thought I was. She said I was probably one of the smartest people in her class. The last words she said to me on the last day of school was "Don't forget what we talked about this year. Your gonna go places"

Can I be honest right know? Writing that made tear up. She helped learned how to hide my pain. She made me learn how to belive good things about myself. Next Thing I knew I wasn't just wearing black,gray,white, navy blue. I was wearing all sorts of colors.

And... All of that was hard to write. But its all true. While depression has made me who I am. The wonderful people around me have made me who I am. And have shaped me into a better human. Including all of you. So.   Please. Be thankful for your friends. Family.  The people around you. And if you ever see someone who is lonely. Be there friend. If you ever see someone being bullied dont stand around. Do something about it.

- 💜 Ashley