Deep Fried: a CCG Mystery

Chapter 2

Mabuchi was in the midst of thoroughly enjoying a fresh chunk of cheese, gnawing it in delight. His large teeth carved effortlessly through the cheddar goodness, scooping it like ice cream into his warm mouth, where he swallowed it moistly and delectably. "Mm," he smiled to himself.
    "No FOOD in my OFFICE!" Marude corrected.
    "Sorry, sir. I couldn't resist my need for cheese," Mabuchi quickly apologized, neatly sticking the half eaten chunk back into his jacket pocket. He would dine on it later in the employee lounge.
    "30 children found eaten," Marude mumbled, reading the newspaper.
    "What?" Mabuchi asked, leaning in. He was hard of hearing.
    "30 CHILDREN FOUND EATEN!"
    "Ow! My brain is vibrating!"
    "The child eating has gone on long enough. We must investigate," Marude announced. He kicked open the door to the main office, where the employees boredly typed. "HEY!" he hollered to get everyone's attention.
    "Yes sir!" Amon saluted properly, ready for a new mission.
    "We have to catch this child eater! I already got an angry mom email asking why we didn't do anything when her kid's intestines were eaten!" Marude yelled, shaking the newspaper to demonstrate.
    "Wow, a child eater! Cool!" Juzo said in awe.
    "Not cool! Child eating is bad!" Shinohara corrected with a fatherly smile on his face that did not go well with the message uttered.
    "Get to work!" Marude ordered, turning back to where he left off in his Harley Davidson magazine.
    "Wow, a case! This is exciting!" Takizawa exclaimed.
    "Yep. Child eater, huh? Wasn't that a cheap 2014 movie?" Hoji smiled.
    "Nope, 2016. Let's get our acts together," Akira corrected, folding her hands properly on the desk.
    "Chunks, my butt hurts!" Juzo complained.
    "Haha, that's probably because you rolled down the stairs," Shinohara chuckled.
    "Chunks?" Amon questioned.
    "Yeah, Juzo calls me Chunks. It must be because I'm a good role model."
    "No, I think it's because you're...never mind." Amon properly adjusted his gleaming cross necklace.
    "Because I'm what?" Shinohara demanded, becoming aggressive.
    "Just a little...heavyset."
    "Yeah, I have a big heart. What about it?" the bearded man challenged.
    "Guys, guess what! Rocky got a new bed! Look at this picture!" Takizawa announced joyfully, holding up a photo of Rocky in a new dog bed.
    "I think we're supposed to be working, my child," Hoji said calmly.
    The case files were arranged. All the photos were displayed across the fine wooden table. It seemed this ghoul particularly enjoyed the ribs and legs of the victims, although he wasn't too good for a buttock or two. Akira tapped her chin thoughtfully.
    "This reminds me of the series of overweight incels that were found murdered a while back," she remarked. Just a month ago, a few neckbeards were found murdered with their fedoras splattered with blood and their ribs missing. Their katanas had not been enough to defend them.
    "Maybe they're the same culprit," Amon added, nodding.
    "I HIGHLY doubt that," Takizawa disagreed.
    "Hey, isn't it true that McDonald's revived the McRib?" Shinohara asked.
    "Only you would know that, Chunks," Juzo chuckled. Shino rubbed the back of his head, flattered.
    "Is it possible...that the ribs are the ribs of these victims?" Hoji murmured.
    "That's it! The ghoul is a McDonald's manager!" Takizawa exclaimed, snapping his fingers excitedly.
    "That's exactly what I was thinking," Akira nodded.
    "I mean, he's definitely NOT a McDonald's manager."
    "Yay, an excuse to go to McDonald's!" Juzo clapped, drawing a picture of fries. It would later be hung up on Shinohara's fridge, taped over his own children's drawings.
    "We must come up with a strategy," Amon encouraged.
    "Well, we can't just ask the source of the ribs. And we have to find out which McDonald's the culprit is working at," Akira pointed out.
    "I'll go on yelp. See if any reviews say the meat tastes human," Hoji said, scrolling through many reviews.
    "Yeah, because they would TOTALLY just write about that!" Amon said in an unusual display of sarcasm, waving his hands.
    "Haha! Oh, Amon! You're so hilarious!" Takizawa laughed in admiration.
    "Seido, why didn't you laugh when I told you a joke my big mom told me?" Juzo questioned.
    "Because you suck! Kill yourself!"
    "Hey, hey. The only thing allowed in the CCG office is kindness," Shinohara smiled.
    "Oh, so no cat memes?" Akira challenged, her blank face clashing jarringly with her absurd quote.
    "Ok, I got an idea. Instead of the usual microwavable cafeterium food, why don't we go to McDonald's to see if we can get a scoop on the culprit? Then I have to go to JC Penney's to get my cross necklace adjusted," Amon announced.
    "Ha! That was a good one, Amon!" Juzo cackled.
    "What? It's not funny. My adopted father gave me this," Amon said, extremely offended.
    "Welp, let's go. There's some chicken mcnuggets with my name on them," Hoji smiled, awkwardly walking out of the room. Takizawa trotted after him like a hungry corgi puppy. He was a sl*t for fried food. Off to McDonald's.