Foraged Love in a Berry Grove - Love Tales from Santa Margarita Island Book 1

Chapter 10 - The Gut and Mind Disconnect

Gage hadn't been this happy in a long time, if ever. He tried to remember if he'd felt like this when he'd first met Lauren, who had without a doubt, rocked his world. He thought hard and decided that, no, that hadn't been like this. She had been sexy, funny, and sharp. The attraction (read lust) had been off the charts. Pair that explosive chemistry with his readiness to settle down, and he'd convinced himself that she was the one.

She hadn't been on the same boat when it started out. She had just been having fun, but Gage was a persuasive guy. He had painted a picture of stability, security, and lots of romancing for the struggling single mom, and she'd bought it.

After a year of heavily physical dating, Gage had moved Lauren and Braden into the dream home that he had started building at the age of 25, confident that he'd have a family ready for it by the time he was 30. He'd taken them to Disney World the summer before and, amid the fireworks, he had asked mother and son to marry him. Lauren, unbelieving of her luck in finding such a solid catch, had broken down and sobbed out her emphatic "yes". Braden, who had only ever had him for a steady father figure, had been ecstatic.

They'd been so happy, so, yes, he had been spectacularly happy in the past. This thing with Beth, however, seemed to emanate from a deeper joy. He couldn't explain it. In his gut, this felt so right. His mind was telling him otherwise, but he couldn't argue with instinct, right?

With Lauren, it had been the opposite. His mind had told him that everything was in place, the chronology of events was perfect, and that things made sense, but his gut had tried to bring some misgivings to his attention, which he'd all ruthlessly tamped down and ignored.

This time around, reason told him to slow down. He was on the rebound. This girl had a mountain of issues. His gut, on the other hand, was roaring at him to go for it.

Now that he was driving and unable to hold Beth's hand, Gage felt antsy. His hand felt incomplete, as though it could no longer recall a time when it hadn't held Beth's hand. He resolved to buy a more date-conducive vehicle.

"How are you holding up?" He inquired. "I know the seats here aren't the most comfortable."

"I'm used to this, remember?" Beth laughed. How did her laugh make him so giddy?

"Is the Kombi your only vehicle?" He doubted that. It was her home after all.

"No, I have a more practical one, a Toyota Hilux that I use for driving around the farm and running errands."

"I'd like to buy a truck myself," he averred, not that he would admit the same to Patrick and Wandy. "I get only one parking slot at my building though."

"You can get permission to park at the school. It just wouldn't be covered, so you'll have to choose which vehicle you wouldn't mind exposing to the elements. You could even just park on the street, but the school parking lot has CCTVs and round-the-clock security guards." The woman was quick with solutions.

Gage threw her an amused smirk, "Of course. Are you always so smart?"

Beth blushed. "I'm sorry. Was I being a buttinski? I know some people hate getting unsolicited advice."

Gage reached over to stroke her hair. "I'm not one of them," he assured Beth. "I'm confident enough in my intelligence to accept that others may figure out answers before I do."

Beth opened her mouth to say something, but snapped it back shut with an audible click from her teeth meeting.

"You can let it out," Gage told her. "I want you to feel that you can tell me anything. Notwithstanding the fact that we'd met only six or seven hours ago," he added jokingly.

Beth smiled wryly at the observation. "I can't believe we only met this morning!"

Gage glanced at her with some concern. "Does it bother you? That we're moving so fast."

Beth held up her hands as though literally weighing the situation before giggling, "It should, but it doesn't." She smiled when he blew out a relieved breath.

"So what were you going to say?"

"You might not appreciate it," she warned.

"Give it to me," Gage offhandedly dismissed her misgivings. "My jaw can take it."

"Your jaw can slice off slivers of meat," Beth unthinkingly shot back.

"What?" Gage laughed.

"What?" Beth yelped back. Her tongue struck again. "Shut up! I didn't say anything!"

"Yes, you did! You think my jaws are too sharp or something?" Gage demanded.

"No!" she exclaimed her denial. "They're perfect!" Impulsively, she ran a finger over Gage's stubble before leaning over to kiss it.

Gage drew in a sharp breath at the feel of first her fingers, then her lips. "Beth!" he hissed in shock.

Beth gasped, coming to her senses. "I'm sorry!" she cried, absolutely mortified. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I don't know what came over me. I didn't mean to be inappropriate. I've been a hermit too long!" She shrank away from him as far as her seat would let her.

Quickly steering the vehicle to the curb, Gage tried to soothe her, "Beth, honey, it's okay."

Once he'd parked, he reached over, distressed at the sight of tears in her eyes. "Beth, baby, don't cry. I didn't mean to sound mad. I was startled. I didn't expect it, but I definitely loved it. I was just frustrated I couldn't do anything about it because I was driving."

Beth finally stopped struggling and let him hold her. "Let's make one thing clear, okay?" Gage drew back and looked deep into her eyes. "Your kisses are welcome anytime." Seeing Beth's mollified expression, he gave her a quick peck on the tip of her nose before letting her go to resume driving.

"So what were you going to say again?" Gage grinned at her.

Beth looked embarrassed. "It's nothing. Really silly. Just a passing observation in my head that Patrick hated it when I came up with solutions to his problems. He liked figuring things out himself."

Gage tried to think of what to say that wouldn't make him sound like a jackass. He finally decided to ask the question of the utmost importance and relevance to him. "Do you still love him?"

Beth turned pink again. Uh-oh. That she paused to think about it also gave him worry. Her eventual "No, I don't think so" was far from reassuring either.

Gage clenched his jaw. Beth put her hand on his arm. "Please understand. That's not a simple question. He wasn't just my fiancé; he was my best friend. We grew up together. He was part of my family. That's why what he did hurt so much. I'm positive that I don't have the love for him that I had when we were together, but I'm still sad that we ended up like this."

Gage swallowed and softly queried, "If he asked, would you take him back?" From what he could see of Patrick's reaction that morning, he certainly seemed to still be carrying a torch for Beth. Would he find them somewhere down the line in a passionate embrace as they put their past behind them and reunited?

In answer, Beth smiled sadly, a faraway look in her eyes. "You know, he did. A month after I gave him back his ring, he went to my classroom after school hours and caught me grading papers. He said that he'd made a mistake and begged me to take him back. I was still too angry with him to consider it, of course. In my mind, he'd lost my trust and respect, so I was definitely not getting back together with him. I told him to leave me alone. For days after, I seesawed between sticking to my choice and reaching out to him to try and patch our life back together. I was in this seemingly endless state of limbo until I learned a couple of weeks later that he had already moved on and was dating Wandy. At that time, I was furious and, yet, relieved. It became crystal clear to me that I'd dodged a bullet. No more second-guessing myself." She looked up at Gage. "Does that make sense?"

Gage kept his doubts to himself and simply asked, "When you're up to it, I'd like to hear about what had happened at that time."

Beth sighed, but bravely replied, "I can tell you now. Of course, you're only hearing our side of the story, so it's best to keep an open mind."