Secrets Of My Past

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Marisol

I was awoken to the sound of yelling between my mom and dad. As usual my little brother Alejandro found his way into my room and was curled up under a blanket trembling. Mornings like this were usual in the Garza household; yelling or slamming or just loud noises overall. I groggily made my way over to Alejandro and slowly uncovered him. Within seconds he made a sudden jump into my arms seeking comfort. Of course being a big sister I had no choice BUT to comfort him. It was my job. Now don't get me wrong, I love Alejandro to pieces but he's 10 years old, shouldn't he be used to this? Minutes passed of me rocking back and forth trying to soothe Alejandro from his worries. Shushing him and stroking his deep brown wavy hair that fell naturally on his forehead. Soon enough, he fell back asleep in my arms. 

By now my mom and dad's argument would be done but it just continued;on and on it went. Insults were yelled and suddenly Alejandro and I were caught in it. I made my way to my bed with Alejandro in my arms and delicately tucked him in. Trying to be as quiet as I could, I slowly opened my door and tiptoed my way down the hallway. With every step I took the two voices grew louder and louder. Once I got close but not too close, I listened into the conversation and was heartbroken.

Estamos bajo de dinero María. ¿Cómo se supone que cuidemos a los niños si estamos quebrados? (We're low on money, Maria. How are we supposed to take care of the kids if we're broke?)

José, tú eres el fabricante de dinero de esta familia. Yo cuido a los niños y tú haces el dinero.(Jose, you're the money maker of this family. I take care of the children and you make the money.)

¿Cómo coño puedo ganar dinero si no tengo más drogas para vender? Toda la cocaína que Robert me dio sold...in horas se había ido. La maleza que estamos cultivando no está lista para ser vendida. (How the fuck can I make money if I don't have more drugs to sell? All the cocaine that Robert gave me sold...in hours was gone. The weeds we are cultivating are not ready to be sold.)

Entonces, ¿qué hacemos José?(So what do we do Jose?)

María, cruza la frontera y lleva a los niños al sur de California. Puedo hacer que la gente que conozco te ayude a cruzar y te dé cobijo hasta que logre ganar suficiente dinero para que vuelvas. Marisol y Alejandro pueden continuar la escuela allí, estoy seguro de que les encantaría.(Maria, you cross the border and take the kids to Southern California. I can have people I know help you cross and give you shelter until I manage to make enough money for you to come back. Marisol and Alejandro can continue school there, I am sure they would love it.)

There's no way my dad would just kick us out like that. Sure we are broke but I'm sure I could get a job since I'm 18. I could work at our local cold store or supermarket. Plus crossing the border? That's crazy...there's no way we could get away with it. I had heard enough of the conversation. As I made my way back to my room I couldn't help but think of a new life in California. Where would we even stay? Alejandro was still asleep when I entered my room. His face was still wet from his tears from when he was crying because of them fighting. I looked down at him and forced a small smile as I laid down beside him. Once my body met the bed Alejandro opened his eyes and rolled into my open arms and closed his eyes. I held him close and tight.

"Alejandro baby want to know what mom and dad were talking about," I whispered to him. "No but yes," replied my congested brother. "Well, we are low on money and dad wants to send us to the States," I said in a low voice. A silence filled the room as my words were processing in little Alejandro's brain. "No way! You're lying! Dad loves us, he would never send us away," Alejandro replied while sitting up. "I know he does, that's why I find it so suspicious. Plus I doubt we are low on money. If anything it could be the Cartels that are after us because of something stupid," I said sounding irritated.

After moments of Alejandro and I discussing the argument between my mom and dad, the yelling suddenly came to a halt and the sound of a door slamming was all that came afterwards.