A CowBoys Rose

15

As usual, I'm first in church and I sit two isles back. Greeting people that come in. After spending some time talking I sit back down and nearly scream when I sit on a lap! I next to fall over the chairs when I look down at Sam who's got a very coy smile! He grabs my wrist and stands "be careful there Miss Caroline... I dont want you hurting yourself"
"No... Yes! Of course not! Forgive me... Uh... Ill..." My throats gone extremely dry! "I'll find somewhere else to sit"
"Don't be silly... We can all fit" he winks and sits back down...
If I move seats now people will question! If I dont! People will question! Oh god! Help me!
"Everyone take a seat" the father calls...
Thats cruel father... But if thats your help! I sit down and can't help but notice how our knees touch. I look past Sam, gulping the lump in my throat "good morning Trudy!"
"Good morning Caroline! How are you?"
"Uh... Warm! Yourself?" Sam chuckles but leans back so we can talk properly "and Daniel! Good morning"
"Morning Mame" he grumbles and keeps forward.
We all face forward and I can't focus! That knees thats just resting against mine! I'm going to have to confess!
"And I ask you all to bow your heads"
I follow orders and close my eyes for my hand to be taken. I gasp "miss Darinton? Are you alright?"
I look up at father Laurence and can feel myself go red "I'm sorry father... Something must have flew into my face. Please continue"
"Very well"
I look back down at his hand over mine. His thumb making small circles over my skin and I close my eyes again. Enjoying feeling his fingers tiggle my skin.
I look to the Sky's. Why are you testing me? Is this a test? Or am I truly the one who needs to adapt to these changes. To learn what's acceptable on this land. But if thats the case, please, explain to me why our lives have been so different! If a man so much as looked at me in church without purpose, he'd be scorned... So why father? Why is it one rule for one and one for another?
"Amen"
"Amen" I breath deeply, but dont look back down.
This is the new rules I'm to live. Live by the land you live... I turn my hand and thread my fingers through Sam's. And he tightens his hold. Sitting up straighter. I want to smile, but I manage to keep calm. Unlike him who smiling and his eyes are brighter than I've seen them.
I hear a slight giggle and look over at Trudy who's smiling at Sam, who nudges her with his shoulder. She smiles over to me sweetly and I go to pull my hand free from his. But his grip tightens.
He looks down at me and winks, giving me one of his handsome half smile. I chuckle and face forwards again.
After the father bids us good bye. Everyone starts leaving "Caroline? Will you join us?" Trudy smiles down to me. Thomas comes over and she takes his arm "were going over to the Saloon for a drink?"
"Of course. I want to talk to Father Laurence first. But I'll come right over!"
"You alright?" Sam asks looking worried.
"Yes! Yes, I'm fine, I'll meet you soon" he nods and kisses my forehead before leaving! Leaving me standing here staring after him!
I look back at Trudy and Thomas whos mouths are on the ground "um... We'll meet you there!" Trudy starts pulling Thomas.
"Did that just happen?"
"Yes! Now come on!" She laughs and Thomas rushes to keep up with her.
He did that very publicly! At least the rooms mostly cleared and no one seems to have noticed! I head over to the podium and father Laurence is leaning against it very casually smiling at me "will there be two Gibbons weddings to expect in the coming months Miss Darinton?"
"What?!"
He chuckles "I'm guessing thats why you've come go talk to me?" He offers his arm and I take it as he sits us on the front row "now, something troubles you"
"In ways... I just... I need to know what I'm doing isn't something condemnable!"
He frowns and leans back "how so Miss Darinton?"
"Please call me Caroline. We... We had dinner. And it was lovely. But... We..."
He smiles "my child I can assure you what ever you want to say I've heard worse"
"We kissed" I hide my face "and the temptation was there! I couldnt stop! I beg your forgiveness!"
He smiles at me "for a kiss?"
"For the temptation"
He nods "now... Ive vowed my life to god... And... In the years I've done his work, ive learnt more than anyone could know. And when I started my role, I was much like you. If I had one to many strawberries I'd ask for forgiveness for being greedy. Now, well... The sins are rules we follow. Now, greed and temptation. They are more... Flexible shall we say"
"Flexible?"
He chuckles "my child, without temptation, no one would progress. We couldn't have this beautiful land if one man wasn't tempted to sail the sea. We would not have the foods we have if someone wasn't tempted to risk their food to try make something... And if it not for temptation, men and women would not know what true love was. Have I explained that right?" In ways "you see my dear. A kiss... Can be seen as little as a handshake or as much as proposal... Its up to the couple which they chose to treat it. God smiles on the love his children give eachother"
I look to the floor "so... He will not judge me? To keep seeing Samuel?"
He smiles and looks up at the podium "I think he has tested Samuel a lot... And I think you are His reward. I'm sure you know he hasn't shown much interest in many"
I nod "so ive heard... Our lives are so very different"
"And is that a bad thing?"
"Differences are simply lessons my dear. Its up to you if you want to learn" he smiles and taps my hand "now, go enjoy your day of rest"
I will... "Oh! Father! I lied to you earlier... Something didnt fly in my face"
He holds up his hand "I'll forgive you" he winks and turns back to the room out back.
Something as small as a handshake or as large as a proposal...
Flexible...

I head outside and smile at the day. Its beautiful... I know what I'm going to do today! I rush over to the Saloon and the rooms cheery and everyone seems to be smiling. Trudy stands and waves over to me and I have to edge through. A lot of men greeting me "hi!" I smile down to the table. And Sam stands up, putting his hand on the small of my back "do you want a drink?"
"No! I'm not staying thank you. I need to go home quickly. There's some things I need to do. Are you going to be here all day?"
"Probably" Trudy smiles up at me "you want company?"
"No its alright. I may be back later on though. I'll see you all soon. Good day!" I lean up and kiss Sam's cheek and he goes wide eyed at me "I'll see you soon"

I smile on the ride home. I'm going to sort through my dresses and give them to Trudy. Then! I'm going to find a way to tell Sam I want to see where we go.
I get in the gate and hear the shouting... What on gods green earth?!
"Dont you touch me!" I jump down and pick my skirts up running around the house.
"I only want to help" Rosie tries to calm her down.
"I want Miss Caroline!"
"Harriot? What's the matter?" She turns to me shaking and sobbing "my god"
"I only tried to help Miss Caroline!' Rosie has tears run down her face.
Harriot rushes at me and collapses in my arms. Bringing us both to the ground " Harriot!"
I stroke her hair back and look down at her face... Her cheek black and swollen. Her eyes bleeding... My god! I look down her, large bruises cover her arm like she's been grabbed. Her dress torn. Her ankles black. I look up at Rosie who's covering her mouth in shock...
I gulp and notice the thinned hair on her head "Harriot? Who did this?" I gulp the lump in my throat. Wiping my tear before she looks up at me "Harriot?"
"He doesn't want to! It's because I lost his child!"
What?! I stroke her hair back making her look at me "your husband did this?" She just looks at me desperately "has he done this before?"
"He doesn't mean to! He loves me! He's hurt!" Hes hurt?! "I beg for forgiveness! I beg him! But he'll never forgive me!"
I feel my eyes water "you listen to me! What happened to your child was not your fault!" She sobs and clings to my chest. I look over at Rosie who's sat on the floor sobbing quietly... Dixon... The snake? The one who wanted Rosie? Thats why Harriot didnt want to see her!
"Come on. Let's get you inside" I need to sort this! I stand and help her up "come on darling" most of her weights on me as I struggle to get her in and sit her on the dining table "Rosie, get some water and one of my dresses" I take a cloth and quickly wipe over her face. Going over the blood on her eye. Looking at the bruise thats swelling "why did he hit you?"
"Because I got my bleed"
I stare at her... Oh! How I'm managing to be this calm! I dont know! "Alright. Let's get you cleaned up" I take the buttons at the back of her dress thats far to tight for her and start pulling it down her body. Scars scattered everywhere...
Try stay calm for her Caroline!
I look at her ankle and put a steak on it. Taking another for her face. Going over her arms.
Rosie comes in shyly and hands me the dress.
"He comes to you" I look down at Harriot whos glaring at Rosie "doesn't he?!"
Rosie gulps "not anymore. Please Harriot! You have to understand. I didnt get a choice! If they paid that was it!"
"He is married! You made him unhappy with me!"
No. The mans disgusting "Rosie. I want you to sort Harriot a place on the sofa. Your going to get some sleep"
"Where are you going?"
"It doesn't matter"