It's happening all over again. You care. So now it's my fault because I didn't let you in. Because I didn't tell you something big. Well honestly I didn't think we were close enough to tell you. And I didn't want to burden you. I wanted this week to be amazing and all that everyone says that it would be. And just because that was taken away from me doesn't mean that I want to take it away from you. I want you to have the experience of a lifetime. I don't want to impose. I'll be okay but I just don't want you to be hurt about me. I don't want you to say that you care so much. I want you to show me that you care. I want you to ask and not have the right words. But try anyways. I want you to look at me and see that I'm hurt and ask what you can do. I know that's some steep expectations. And I don't expect that. That's what I need right now. I don't expect you to do it right all the time. I just know that I can use some of that persistence that you used to have. Someone to ask me deep questions. Someone to challenge my words. Someone to challenge me emotionally so that I can figure this all out. I'm sorry that this had to happen now. I'm sorry that I don't want to burden your week. I'm sorry. Okay? But I need you more than ever right now. I'm trying so hard not to. But I do. So please. For now just try to help me. If you love me you will.
