Dear My Sanity (Katsuki Bakugou love story. My Hero Academy)

Chapter: 30 Broken Cage and Douchebag with nice hair

Joozous POV

I made my hands into fists and that caused my knuckles to crack. I then walked to the center of the circle and turned to see Bakugou walking to me.
I looked to the side and saw Shinsou leaving with a smile. Maybe he gets it now. Hero's don't need to be actual hero's. They just need to be brave and selfless.
"My turn." Bakugou said smirking. "Don't hold back. Fight me with your fusions." He said as he gave me a serious face and stood in a fighting stance.
        "I don't want to hurt you, however I know that it will hurt a part of you anyway if I don't use my fusions." I said as sand swarmed my body and covered me.
        When the sand stopped and cleared up, my hair was long and in braids like Jinx. However my hair was fully black but I still had my bangs which still has red patches.
        "I was wondering, why is you hair long?" He asked as he put his mask on. And it looked really cool. -///3///- (Kinky..lol)
        "With my sand, I have the ability to change my appearance if I want. And my hair isn't short, I just have it short because the enemy might use it as a way to grab me. But since I'm going all out, I might as well show my real self." I said as I unwrapped the bandage on my arms.
        When I did he froze and looked at me. I wanted him to see some of my real body. My figure is still the same, but the sand acts like a counselor to cover up my scars and bruises.
I had shackle bruises on my wrists and as well as other bruises around my arms. There was scars, small and big.
        As well as the large gash on my shoulder from my first day that had forged a large scar. "How did you get that???" He asked as he got mad and stomped over to me. He then yanked my arm and looked at the scar.
"Some hot head, slammed an explosion at me causing my body to hit the front of the school wall." I said in 'a matter a fact' tone. He got shocked and looked up at me. "I did this??" He asked letting my hand go.
"Yeah But it's ok. I was able to stitch it. To be honest most scars are like trophy's of war in a way." I said as I wrapped them back up.
I then jumped back and did a backflip. I got a bit away from him and stood in a fighting stance. "I won't hold back. My motivation for this fight might not be as good as yours, but I won't give up." I said determined as the cat ears and tail disappeared.
No mimicry, my moves against his. Fighting him and proving I'm good, might show him I'm worth his time. We both confessed our love for each other, however I want to prove to him that I'm actually worth it. That I'm good enough.
As I was about to run to him he turned around and left the circle. "I forfeit. Also I won't make it to the party...." He whispered loud enough.
        I stopped and just stood there. Why.... Is this pity..? Does he think I'm weak to the point that I need pity points....? Am I not even worth fighting..? Am I not worth his time......?
        I stood normal and just flashed thoughts in my head. 'I'm not worthy of even fighting him.....?' I thought as I sat down on the floor.

'Despair..'

'Loneliness..'

'...monster..'

Joozou In Despair POV

I unbraided my hair and just sat down looking at my hands. My hair was wavy because of the braids and just flowed in the wind.
After a bit I grabbed my knees and held them close to my chest. 'Why am I always such a complete fuck up....I don't even have luck with guys...'
I then let my hair cover my eyes as I saw someone walking into the circle. I looked up a bit and saw Sero.
"I challenge you..." He said smirking. He then shot his tape at me and was about to touch me.
However sand came from the ground, both sides from me, and grabbed the tape. The sand looked like tentacles as the two parts tugged at Sero's tape and lifted him off the ground. They then threw him out of the circle.
He wasn't hurt but excepted defeat as he went to go fight more people.
Since then 4 other people challenged me. I didn't moved but my tentacles grabbed there legs and threw them out of the circle. Fourteen points...I don't care anymore....
Suddenly someone started to walk to the circle. "Joozou are you ok??" Someone asked. I looked up and saw Midorya as he stepped in.
The sand tentacles dispersed and just fell around me. "Why is it that I desire the things that destroy me.....?" I asked myself as I nuzzled my head into my knees.
"Uh, I over heard and saw you and Kacchan talking.....Joozou....It's not that he doesn't want to fight you, it's more like he doesn't want to hurt you again. He's actually a good person to you, just be patient...." Midorya said as he gave me a smile that was reassuring.
"Midorya...I can not do that anymore...most of my pain I have felt recently comes from him. May it be mentally or physically. I love him, but I can not just except all this pain and neglect just because he is a shitty person...." I said as I stood up.
"N-no!! Kacchan just doesn't know how to act around you!! He's not that bad, just give him a chance..!!!" Midorya shouted shaking his head.
"Sometimes you just have to except that some people are shitty humans. And to stop trying to see the good that is not there.... Midorya....Bakugou and I confessed to each other, however.....There is a chance that he lied..." I said as my hair went strait. It touched the ground and literally looked void black except for my red patches on my bangs.
"Joozou...THAT'S NOT TRUE!! Kacchan may do and say mean things, but he would never lie to you!!" Midorya shouted as he clenched his fists.
        "I cannot make you understand...I can not make anyone understand....What is happening in my head...? I can't even explain it myself.....Pure despair....even what you say could be a lie too. I feel like I can not trust anyone anymore....." I said as I looked up at the sky a bit.
        I heard footsteps, so I looked forward. But instead I heard a sound and I was now looking to my right...Did he slap me...??
        "GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!! ITS OK IF YOU FALL DOWN AND LOSE YOUR SPARK!!...Everyone goes threw that. May it be big or a small fall...BUT JUST MAKE SURE WHEN YOU RISE YOU BECOME THE WHOLE DAMN FIRE!!!...I don't personally know your past, however I will look and be a part of your future!! You are strong because you know pain!! Remember all those things you said to Shinsou about being a hero!! Listen to your own words!!" He shouted.
        He's right...What's this feeling. It's like...freedom...I feel lighter...as if my cage is shattering.......? If Bakugou causes me so much Pain...shouldn't I let him go...?.....Like Aizawa said...I need to let it go...(LET IT GO!! LET IT GO!!! Lol frozen...)

Normal Joozous POV

        I looked at Midorya surprised. "I challenge you!!" He shouted lastly as he took some steps back determined.
        I smiled a bit. "Despair...I can never get rid of it. But I can overcome and control it....If it means getting stronger and becoming a better person...I will let go of the cause of my pain..." I said as I clenched my fists.
That's right!! I'm here to be a hero and make him proud!! I will prove that I am worth being here. That I am worthy of calling myself a hero.

-a bit later-

        The fight lasted about 10 minutes. I fought using my hand to hand combat and once in a while I would solidify my body too withstand his finger blows.
        I admit that I almost got out a couple of times but I was kinda scared for Midorya. He broke some of his fingers and was literally forcing air to hit me, as well as force in general.
        His quirk is strong but he can't handle it... The fight ended when I used my bandages to wrap his body.
        I sighed as I cut the bandages off. I then saw my arms were bruised a bit more. His power, was so unbelievably AWSOME!!! I think I even have a large bruise on my stomach where he actually made contact. Even with my sand armor defense...he's fucken over powered... -3-
        I then used some sand to make a cloak again that had sleeves. It was long like the other one and had a hood.
        Smiling I shortened my hair again like before, then put my hood up dropping the sand dome. The sand instantly dug into the ground and rested were I harvested it from.
        I then walked over to Midorya and saw him struggle to get the bandages off. "They won't come off like that." I said chuckling as they unwrapped themselves and went into my sleeves wrapping my arms again.
        "Thanks. In total I think I only got 10 points. But fighting you was worth it. Even if I lost." Midorya said standing while chucking a bit. I then saw his fingers that were broken.
"Didn't you just heal these from the sports festival...?" I asked as I took his hand and looked at the bruises.
"Never fear. I am here. Give me some sugar!!" Someone said walking to us. I turned and saw Recovery Girl. Her short figure stoped in front of us as she kissed Midoryas hands.
"At least they aren't as bad as before." She said smiling. Suddenly a large explosion of fire light up the whole area.
I looked to my left and saw Eli not to far away in another large arena. She was fighting Ectoplasm. She had water clones fighting his clones.
But what stood out more was that Ectoplasm made a tall large clone that was fighting one of Eli's large clones. It was like a giants war. Cool. After a bit of watching she won and literally made a small Tsunami attacking Ectoplasm.
"Wow!! She's so AWSOME!!!" Midorya shouted. "Yup. She's amazing. Unlike my body that can hold 3 quirks, hers can hold up to 4 quirks. She has a beast quirk that allows her to mimic any animals form and behavior. She also has a fire release quirk, a wind manipulation quirk, and lastly a water release quirk." I said as I stared at Eli being challenged by a class 1-B student.
"Wow!! You guys are so cool!!" Midorya shouted. He then panicked and looked around. "I NEED TO GET MORE POINTS!!! See you later!!!" He shouted as he ran off.
I smiled as I saw Recovery girl leave as well. I need more points too. I need to focus on improvising and being a hero. I must clear my thoughts of anything that might act as an obstacle to my success.
"I challenge you..." Someone said behind me. I turned and saw the blond fagot with a grin and a crazy look in his eyes. I then saw his suit and he actually looked fine in it. Man...I love formal wear...
Smiling I turned and faced him completely. "I accept.." I said as we both headed into the circle. "Is your quirk Explosion?" I asked referring to his earlier incident with Bakugou.
"It's Copy." He said as he ran his fingers threw his hair. I bet it's soft. I'll ask him if I can't touch it later. He may be a douchebag but he's a douchebag with nice hair.