𝐆𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐒𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐬┊✓

t h i r t y n i n e » h a n e u l

not edited

— haneul —
(n) sky, heaven
origin ; korean

Phoenix has his arm around my shoulder as he threw his head back, a full blown smile on his face at what I just said. 

We're at the skating rink again sitting in a circular booth, the crew and I along with Marlowe's bitch of a cousin. Whilst I was sitting between Phoen and Pyper, Talon was next to Pyper, and Judah next to him. Blake was next to Phoenix and Marlowe and his cousin were across from Phoenix and I. We all had roller blades on, too lazy to take them off as we took a break to grab a bite.

Blake retorts something, sending everyone into fits of laughter except Pyper and I as we were glaring at Marl's cousin. The girl had caught Phoenix's eyes all afternoon and to say I was jealous would be a bloody understatement. Though he had his arm around me, he didn't much so spare a glance in my direction, he was solely focused on her. Her skin was one of a pale white and she had short platinum white hair and black roots. Her smile was an absolute killer and her bold blood red lipstick showed off her shining white pearls. She was definitely prettier than me.

I was on the path to detachment from watching Phoenix's eyes trained on Marl's cousin. He was openly flirting with her and she seemed oblivious as fuck. His cousin shoots another remark which causes her and Phoenix to laugh heartily it seems. Pyper and I along with the guys stay quiet with all their eyes on me as they realise something between Marlowe's cousin and Phoenix.

Phoenix smirks when I look over at him and then says, "I'd have you bend over any day," causing everyone's jaw to drop. She gives him a sultry smile, batting her eyelashes. The hurt spreads over my chest faster than forest fires spread and I feel like I've lost a war before I even fought it. I have no reason to be jealous and hurt over this yet I can't help the feeling of far worst than just hurt. My heart feels like it's on fire, it's burning, and it's too late to save it. The gang all have shock written plainly on their faces as they all sit in silence. I think I've been stripped of all my self love and confidence as I look between Phoenix and her, their eyes showing a stronger pull than what I believe I have with him. I want to kill her.

I want him to look at me like that. I want all his attention.

I fucking hate her.

I felt weak and hopeless because of him.

This exact moment reminds me of all the talks Aurele and I share, drunk or sober. I was unbelievably wild and reckless with my feelings, anything I felt, I felt it too strong or not at all. There was just no in between for me. It was probably my most dangerous, yet endearing qualities that could one day kill me; to feel every emotion so strongly and intensely or feel completely devoid of any emotion at all. That right there, that is exactly why I felt jealous and raging right now. And I burning off of it.

"Alright," I clasped my hands together, forcing a bright smile. Phoenix finally turned his head, finally acknowledging me, "I'm going to skate." I was hiding everything I felt in my heart with a bright smile. And sooner or later, likely later, I'd realise I've been too strong for far too long. Quite scary how much a smile could hide.

The crew seemed surprised at my sudden decision and Phoenix had the audacity to scrunch his eyebrows in confusion. And of course, Marlowe's damn cousin only scowled. What the hell did I do to you bitch?

I stood up ready to ask Pyper and the others sitting to my left to get up, but stilled when my phone rang.

"Hunter Bazzi! The biggest bastard in the business industry," I said cheekily. The grin on my face dropped just as quick as it came when I heard a sob resonate from my best friend on the other end.