cracked.

feels bad

you dont have to regret something for it to be a mistake.

—

"about three months ago, i made a mistake. i let go of one of my best friends and a few other friends because this other person that used to be also used to be one of my best friends got into this one argument that caused us to stop talking.

i'm not blaming her at all for the reason that i don't really have friends anymore because i knew she needed them, more than i did. that's what i thought, at least.

this girl and i had the same group of friends, so when we fought, they all already knew. when this girl [ i'm gonna call her Yang ] and i were still best friends, we shared this other friend we had, who was my other best friend [ i'm gonna call this one Can ]. Can was really more of my best friend compared to Yang.

when Yang and i got into this fight, after a while, we were no longer friends, but we still had our other friends. i was hard for Yang, our friends, and i to communicate because we basically hated each other at that point in time, so i began thinking if it was right for us to have this three way friendship considering two people in the group of friends were blatantly ignoring each other.

a week before the school year ended, i decided to break things off with all of them. the day before that, another friend of mine [ i'm going to call her Kam ], made me promise her that i would never forget her, no matter what happens to us ( she didn't know that i was going to try to cut off all of my friends yet ).

the night i was purposefully try to get all my friends pissed off at me, i ended up telling Kam why i was doing what i was doing, when i was planning on not telling any of them.

they all ended up confused as to why i made such a big mess, and i hope they concluded that i was a selfish, little bastard due to all of the things i said. i had made sure that Yang was in the conversation to make sure they were all pissed off at me. with the result of Yang hating my being and me deliberately acting like an asshole to the people i really cared for, they ended up thinking that i was a selfish fucker that only cared about myself. except for Kam because she knew the real reason for my malicious behavior that night.

but after everything that happened, i don't really regret it, even though it was a mistake. i mean, if i went back and i didn't do it, our friends would've stayed with Yang after some time. at least this way, they wont feel any remorse for leaving me for Yang, especially Can. she could keep saying that she doesn't need anyone, but me knowing her, she needs at least one person that she needs to talk to. and it doesn't need to be me anymore so that they can become closer as best friends."

—

a real story.