The Secret Life of Postgraduates

My Secret Valentine (unedited)

The thing about reading articles was, the more Maddie read, the more she realised how little she knew. It was an endless spiral of knowledge. And references! The bane of academic writing. They had to be relevant and recent, yet the article she was using for a certain piece of information cited an article that cited an article that cited an article from the 1980's. Did she cite them all, or just the latest one? This was but one of the many hurdles she encountered upon first starting out.

Getting a hold of Dr D was another hurdle. The man was like a bouncy ball all over the place; when he wasn't teaching, he was a locum or taking his kids to ballet.

And how was she supposed to address the younger staff? As in the fresh new doctors? The older students called them by their first names, as they've known them since before they received their titles, but as a newcomer, was Maddie supposed to do the same?

There were many small intricacies and unwritten rules that Prof Koch couldn't prepare them for. You didn't touch the aircon settings if Inge was there, or she'd give you the death-stare. If Lauren had both earphones in, nobody speaks to her. If one person gets up for coffee, everyone gets up for coffee – leading to impromptu chats in the kitchen about everything from movies to pets to complaining about their studies.

Maddie did her best to join the older students at any opportunity. They were great to hang out with, and quick to help.

With Valentine's Day around the corner, Jenna concocted a plan for Secret Valentines. She skipped around the office with a hat full of names, dressed in cupid wings and heart-shaped sunglasses.

"Pick your Valentine," Jenna sang and held the hat out. Maddie reached in and pulled out a name. Lauren.

Hmm. The easy thing to do was buy a chocolate slab and be done with it, but Maddie didn't roll that way. She wanted to go over the top – within the R50 budget. What did Lauren like besides working out?

Thus began research of a different kind. Maddie trawled through Lauren's Instagram, Facebook – surreptitiously stalking her every move. That sounded creepy.

Lauren loved Coke Zero, her pet cat was called Donkey, she had a fondness for craft beer, was apparently into Pokémon, listened to metal, and her favourite chocolate was a Lunch Bar. But how to combine all of these in one kickass gift for R50?

The Coke and chocolate were easy. But how to incorporate her other joys in life?

For the Pokémon portion of the gift, Maddie made a Pokéball card that said, "I choose you!" when opened. As for the metal, she made a CD with songs from Lauren's favourite bands. Mike assisted. The craft beer proved to be too lofty a goal, so she made a "Buy me a drink" "coupon" to be used once only, and only among friends.

On Valentine's Day a palpable sense of excitement filled the air. Someone (Jenna) had plastered the hallway with red and pink hearts, and she'd baked cupcakes for the gift exchange. Those who had real Valentines, got chocolates, flowers and teddies. A massive bear and balloons awaited Karen on the back of her car. How did that get into the complex? Maddie had thought with concern. They didn't know any of the guys in the complex.

Maddie didn't get any Valentines herself. No surprises there. Although it would have been nice to have a secret admirer once in her life. She felt a pang in her chest which she tried to ignore. Karen had always been the pretty one.

During the normal Journal Club slot, the whole department gathered in the tea room, which had been festooned in ribbons, confetti, and hearts. The cupcakes, little works of art sculpted from icing, decorated the table and drew every eye. If research didn't work out, Jenna had a calling in baking. She played cupid and handed everyone their gift to exclamations of delight. Some were adorable – Hannah had made up a pack of sweets with related Valentine's puns attached for Natalie – others over the top – Stacy received an orchid – and many, many chocolates were given and received.