The Way of the Sea

Chapter Thirteen: Reflections

Aidan lay on his back with his head resting on his open hand. Darin was already asleep on the couch, so there was no one to witness his emotional turmoil.

He knew better than to think that this wasn't fair. After all, Eden could have ended up in the hands of the Scáth. At least tomorrow she would be on her way to safety.

Even so, he wanted to shout and stomp and huff; fall on his knees and beg Fredric not to leave with her. Anything to keep her here on Rathlin. Here with him.

He was still surprised at the words that had come from his own lips as they'd sat on the staircase.

They're not the only ones that I love.

He'd meant every word he said. And more importantly, he meant the underlying words that he didn't say. The words his eyes spoke for him. He just didn't know it until that moment.

His admiration of and care for Eden had always been there, he knew. Only now that those words had left the deep sanctuary of his heart and ventured into the open air, his feelings seemed magnified; more real, somehow.

The realization left a bitter taste in his mouth; no sooner had he decided to stay put and devote his time to his siblings and to Eden, had she been pulled away from him. She was to leave and stay away until it was safe for her to return. But she had lived seventeen years in the shadow of the Scáth's threat, even if she didn't realize it. How much longer would they have to wait until the danger was vanquished? Until Maeve died of old age? By then, wouldn't it be too late?

We could all just move to the mainland together, he thought. But he disregarded that thought immediately. He was in no position, financially or otherwise, to uproot his family and make it on his own in another place. It was all he could do to take care of them while they were given a home with the O'Dougherty's. And now, the Campbells were to take them in. Their hospitality and generosity had astounded him. If Eden and Fredric were going to leave and Merida was going to be wrapped up in dealings with Ársa, then the Campbells were his best chance for giving Darin and Alanna the family relationships and stability they needed.

Shame flooded him for thinking he could just follow his heart to some distant town in the Orchard County at the expense of his own flesh and blood. In an instant, the finality of his circumstances fell around him like a cage. He beat against the confines of his mind, but it was useless. His life was changing tomorrow. Everything was changing. He sighed heavily in frustration and flipped onto his side, adjusting his blanket with his feet.

He breathed deeply and let it out slowly, focusing on relaxing his tense muscles. Maybe if he could just fall asleep, he could wake up in the morning and find that all of this had been a cruel dream.

He had nearly drifted off to sleep when he was startled awake by Eden's scream.

*****

Eden climbed into bed that night with a thousand thoughts zinging around her mind. Alanna was sleeping on the bottom half of her trundle bed while Darin and Aidan slept downstairs in the living room. After the discouraging meeting in Fredric's study, Eden had stumbled quickly up the stairs, nearly blinded by her tears.

To say that she didn't want to leave was an understatement.

Aidan had decided to stay—not only for her, but at least partially for her. But his devotion to his siblings made his devotion to her all the more meaningful. She wanted to dwell on his subtle declaration of love and pretend that tomorrow wouldn't bring sorrow.

But when pretending didn't work, she tried to dim the pain with reason.

That conversation was about something deeper than romantic feelings. We've always cared for each other. He was just saying what we both already knew. Nothing has changed.