The Beta's Unwanted Mate One Shot

Finding Closure

Alissa's POV:

I'm sitting here at the edge of my window staring blankly out into the wide open space, watching as the raindrops come pouring down in tiny droplets, each drop reviving the forests, making them beautiful, bringing them back to life. I've always loved the rain, today however, it seemed like the rain was there to portray the feelings that I wanted to but couldn't express openly. It's been a few hours since the burial and I've been sitting here since everyone left. Olivia had walked up to me before she left conveying her condolences and her guilt. She apologised, saying it was all her fault and as much as I wanted to find someone to put the blame on.... I just couldn't, because I know it's no one's fault, especially not Olivia's. It was Patricia's choice and I held no grudge because I know she was the greatest, most caring person and she would always put her life on the line in order to save those she cared for.

In this world filled with dread, sorrow and darkness, she was always a beaming beacon of hope, peace and joy. I was truly blessed to have had her as my mate. I assured Olivia that she was not at fault and that she didn't have to burden herself with unnecessary guilt because it wasn't her fault. I saw that she was still tense so I pulled her into a warm, reassuring hug and felt her instantly sigh in relief. She left shortly after and I felt the slightest hint of joy from having relieved Olivia of her guilt, which is pretty ironic because I couldn't even help myself and yet there I was making others feel all better. I locked myself in my room and sat in there for hours on end just staring blankly.

I wanted so much to cry out and shout at the top of my lungs, anything to release all the mixed emotions within me. I had teared up during my eulogy but that was it, I felt so numb. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions at once that I felt like my heart was about to explode. I had just lost my one true love, my mate, Patricia. I felt guilt for not  being there with her, I felt broken because I had just lost the love of my life, I felt so upset and I  asked moon goddess why? Why did she have to snatch my sweet Patricia away from me? Why couldn't she take my life instead? So many questions ran through my mind at that point. There was this heavy feeling in my chest, it literally became harder for me to breathe. I felt hollow inside, like the last bits of my heart died along with her and now I was left void and cold inside.

I still remember the day we met like it was just yesterday, except it was ages ago. There I was crying inside the gym, surrounded by the Queen B of the school and her minions. It was their mission to make my life miserable every single day and they always managed to, but that day they got what they deserved. The doors to the gym slammed open and in walked the most beautiful creature I had ever set eyes on. She was fierce and oozed confidence, my wolf, Lynx, was leaping with joy at the plain sight of her and I was left dumbfounded until she said the very next word...... "Mate!!"

Patricia saved me from the claws of those fake ass bitches, that was the last time they ever dared to come close to me. Since that fateful day she's always been by my side comforting me, supporting and protecting me..... loving me, and now she was gone. My lips started to quiver as realisation finally dawned on me.... She was truly gone!!! I wouldn't ever get the chance to see her again, love her, touch her. I was all alone now. The pain I was going through made me feel so hurt that even death would seem like mercy.

One by one the droplets slowly rolled off my eyelashes and down the sides of my cheeks. My throat clogged up as if someone was choking the life out of me and at that point I wish someone truly was. I moved to the closet and took out her favourite sweater that her mum had handed me.... it still smelled like her. I missed her so much and I felt almost inhumane from how numb I had become. Now I was alone and finally able to free all the unshed  tears. I got in bed and cuddled her sweater close to me as I cried into my pillow and again the question,  Why? Picked at my brains. If only I hadn't been careless, if only I was stronger. I wouldn't have gotten kidnapped in the first place and she wouldn't have to come to the rescue again only to lose her life. I felt so weak and all I wanted was to show her I could be strong. I felt like a disappointment and all that I  could do was hope her feelings aren't mutual, even though I know she's gone... I just don't want her disappointed in me.

Just then I heard a whisper, it sounded so much like her  voice.  At first I thought I was starting to hallucinate after thinking about her so much but then I heard it again.
"Alissa...." the voice came again.
"Patricia....is that you?" I opened my eyes and looked around frantically. I didn't care how insane the situation may seem but I was so sure it was her.
" Yes... baby, It's me!" My heart leaped with joy and there I saw her kneeling beside me.
" But... How?" I was confused as to how she was able to communicate with me. At first I thought, may be it was all just some nightmare and she didn't really die. Then I figured I was just losing my mind but then she spoke again.
" The moon goddess granted me permission to talk to you... one last time, to help you get closure" she replied and ohhh how I missed her voice.
" Alissa, my love, I want you to know that I love you so much and I'll be watching over you always... I don't want you beating yourself up about this.. I want you to find happiness again in your family and friends. Don't let this be a roadblock to the path ahead that has so much more in store for you. This is not the end of the road for you. Be the strong, brave girl that I know you are, the one who stole my heart. Sweetheart, I could never ever be disappointed in you because even if you don't see it I've always known you were strong, you just need to believe it for yourself."

As I listened to her, I felt less burdened.... even happy. She wasn't disappointed in me, I smiled at the thought of that.

" No matter what... know that I will always love you with all my heart... even in death. My dearest Alissa, I wish you all the happiness in the world. I love you so much!!"

I gripped her hand tightly, not wanting to lose her again. She leaned forward and kissed my lips ever so passionately, then she kissed me on my forehead as she whispered her last words.

" Goodbye, my love! If you ever feel alone, just look up at the stars and know that I'm up there shining down on you..... ALWAYS!! " And with that last note she was gone. Disappeared into thin air. I know I should be upset but I wasn't. She really did help me find closure in knowing that even if I can't see her she'll always be with me.
This is why I love her..... even in death she was my solace and she gave me comfort. I was determined to go on living my life as the brave girl she believed me to be.

Heyyy.... soo, there it is! I hope I didn't suck😂
Enjoy😘 ❤
Even if I don't win... I must say, i really enjoyed writing this.