Thursdays

Prologue

I came from a very very heartbreaking break up with someone whom I loved for a very very very long time. He's my first love. My first in everything. He became my world and I became blind in every wrongful things that he does.

Lahat ginawa ko. Lahat lahat binigay ko. Nawawalan ako ng oras sa ibang bagay pero never akong nawalan ng oras para sa kanya. I'd been there through ups and downs of his life. From his frustations about graduation, Happiness when he passed, Celebrations, I've seen him happy when he traveled with his family and friends, seen him crying dahil nahirapan maghanap ng trabaho abroad. I've been there for him. I am always been there for him to cheer him up, to lighten his mood, to motivate him and to tell him that things are not always going according to plan. I thought I did my best, I thought I gave everything that he wanted and needed. But as I said, I became blind. My love for him turns me out to a blind woman. Who only sees him as person na hinding-hindi ako sasaktan kasi yun naman dapat ginagawa sa mga taong laging nariyan sa tabi mo di ba? Pinapahalagahan? Minamahal? Inaalagaan?

Pero hindi yan nangyari sa isang bulag sa pag-ibig na tulad ko. Hindi ko agad napansin na may nagbago. Hindi ko agad nalaman na ginagago na pala ako. Hindi ko agad natuklasan na ginagamit nalang nya ko.

Well, we can all deal with pains. I let it hurt until it doesn't hurt anymore. Kinaya ko ng mag-isa. Kinaya ko na kalimutan sya. Ang pagmamahal napalitan ng galit. Nagbago ako oo, pero nagbago ako para sa sarili ko. Nagbago ako para sa susunod hindi na ko ma-gago.

He was my first love. Pero hindi ko alam na yung first love na yon magmumukhang puppy love simula noong makilala ko sya.

Si Zac.

---------------------------end-------------------------------