tessa || h.s

My Friends Won't Love Me Like You...

Picture of Dylan on the side...played by Xavier Samuel

T.

«Back in New York City»

"So you're sure about this, babe? I mean...you just got back?" Dylan asked me as I sat on his bed whilst he packed his suitcase.

"I want you to go! This is a big deal, Dyl. Too big for you to pass up. Besides, it's only a few days and I have a lot of shit to do, which'll keep me busy." I assured him. He had been offered a photography gig in Santa Barbara and I couldn't let him give it up for me.

"Okay. I just feel like this could be huge for me, ya know? Like finally the break that I've needed." I crawled across the mattress and linked my arms around his shoulders.

"You deserve this." He pressed his lips to mine as his brown eyes closed.

"I love you, Tessa." As soon as the words tumbled off his tongue, Harry's face came to mind and I wanted to hit myself. Just as I went to reciprocate the words, his phone rang and I breathed out a sigh of relief that I had absolutely no idea I was holding in. He gave me the 'be right back' signal and I nodded, falling back down on the bed. I wanted to go back to my flat. I was fully aware that my boyfriend would be leaving within the hour but I just wasn't feeling right and I hated Harry for that. I hated that he'd gotten to me this way. Everything was great until my mum made me go get her those pastries. Had I not gone in that day, I'd be fine right now.

"I've thought about you everyday. Every girl, I'd compare her to you. You don't just forget or fall out of love with your first love, Tess. I can't, at least."

His words played over and over in my mind and I wanted to scream. Screw him. Screw Harry. He left, our failed relationship was on him, not on me.

"Tessa? Babe, are you listening to me?" I shook my head as Dylan's voice dragged me away from thoughts of that stupid British twat.

"Sorry, sorry. What were you saying?" I apologized and he just laughed.

"I was saying that Max is going to pick me up on the way to the airport, did you still wanna come?"

"Oh, um-no. I have a lot to do anyway. When will he be here?"

"In about ten minutes." He hurried and began packing the rest of his things and by the time Max called, saying he was outside, he was all set and ready.

"I love you, call me when you land, okay?" I made sure to force Harry away from my mind as I said this.

"Love you too, Tessie." After a few quick kisses, he grabbed his suitcase and jogged out the front door.

H.

«Two Days Later»

Knock. Knock. Knock. My fist rapped against the door three times and I waited patiently for it to open. "Coming!" I heard her voice from inside and I smiled. As soon as it swung open, her eyes grew wide.

"You're fucking crazy if you thought I wasn't going to put up a fight for you." I let myself smirk down at her as her mouth hung open.

"You cannot be here, Harry." She tried to close the door, but my boot caused a blockage. "You're messing with my head and it's not fair, okay?" Her voice was full of defeat, like she just didn't have the strength to deal with me and I immediately felt bad, so I turned my attitude around as I followed her inside.

"Hey...look at me..." I let my fingers grasp her chin gently as I guided her face up towards mine, in an attempt to get her to see the truth in my eyes. "I can't rid myself of you. The mere thought of being without you is terrifying and I want to be with you every single waking moment. I want to fight with you just so we can make up, and when something good or bad happens, you're the first one I want to tell..." I repeated her words almost exactly and I watched as her face turned up slightly, which was a hopeful sign.

"I have a boyfriend." I hated those four god damn words.

"Well then where the hell is he?" She looked down at the ground. "If I were him, I'd be with you every fucking second-every minute that I could, at least."

"He's in Santa Barbara for a photography shoot, it's a really great opportunity that he couldn't have missed out on."

"Give me a chance, Tess." I ignored the boyfriend deal as she sighed.

"Harry..."

"Please." I'm pleading now, and I don't plead. Ever.

"Why-why don't we try to be friends first? We were friends before, so why can't we be friends again?"

"I can't just be your friend, Tessa. You should know that." Fucking friends? Was she serious?

"Please, Harry?" She's begging me just as I was moments before, but unlike her, it's working on me. Besides, if being friends was the only way I'd get to be in her life, then fucking so be it.

"Fine-okay. Let's be friends then."

"Wait...really?" Her face held a happy surprised look that made my world.

"If being friends is the only way I get to be with you, then I would like to be friends."

"Okay then..." She was smiling now. "Not friends with benefits...or whatever. Just friends."

"Right." We'll see about that. Her eyes searched mine, trying to be sure that I was in agreement.

"So...this is good?"

"This is good." I concurred. This wasn't necessarily good, but I needed this girl. I needed her more than I've ever needed anything and I was hopeful about her needing me too. Something tells me she feels the same as I do, she's just too stubborn to admit it.

"So...you hungry?" She asked, heading down the hallway to the kitchen.

"Starving, actually. What've you got?"

"Cold pizza, macaroni and cheese? Oh and two day old fruit salad!"

"I think I'll go with some macaroni and pizza." I smirked at her and decided to reach over her and grab both plates from the refrigerator. She was surprised by my sudden closeness because I heard her inhale sharply as my fingers grazed her sweater covered arm.

"So...is there any other reason why you came to New York?" She asked me, whilst taking a bite of the chilled pizza.

"Besides you? No." I watched in amusement as her eyes rolled frustratedly.

"Harry..."

"What? You asked, so I'm telling you the truth. Friends tell each other the truth, yes or no?"

"Erm-yeah, I guess..."

"So no, you are the single most important thing in my life right now, I had no other reason to come here." This time, her eyes didn't roll in annoyance, instead, I watched as her lips fought the smile that was about to break.

"Well, shouldn't you be off singing somewhere or signing something?"

"No...we don't leave for tour until April, so I'm all your's until then."

"I'm sure Dylan will love that."

"Fuck Dylan." Those two words came out all too quickly.

"Harry!"

"What? I don't like him."

"You don't even know him!"

"True, but he has you and I don't, therefore, I hate him."

"Hate is a strong my friend..." Fucking friends.

"And?"

"You can't hate him, you do not know him. How about you meet him and then if you still hate him...I won't say another word about it. But at least give him a chance?"

"You want me to meet him?" Had she said she didn't want me to, I would've loved that. That would've meant that she was guilty of something-loving me, maybe?-but this fucking just cements the fucking 'friendship'