Mandla

Chapter 10; Pain

I settle inside the medium sized bedroom in his fathers house. He sits next to me, goes quiet for a while then grabs his laptop and opens it. I peak as he enters the pin, oh it's our anniversary date. He goes to the file he knows I want to see the most and opens a document titled "confidential". I see a flood of everything he has been hiding. The illegal exchanges, bribes, conversations and classified work information. Then he asks me if i'm ready for the next document, I nod and he opens it. I know this girl, she looks very familiar. Then it comes back to me, it's the girl that claimed that he had raped her. I see screenshots of ultra sound pictures and a whatsapp conversation where she was blackmailing my man to go to the press with this story if he doesn't leave me and start a family with her as she is already pregnant with his kid. As far as the conversation goes, Mandla wouldn't hear any of it. I'm appauled if anything,I don't know what to make of it.
"Mandla what's going on here?"-I ask
"She came in here a month ago and told my parents she was pregnant with my child. A lie Bonga, I know this cause I have never slept with her. The night of the apparent "rape", I was drugged. I got a cocktail at the bar and felt alittle out of the weather, I decided to go lie down in my office till I recovered but when I woke up, she was lying next to me naked"-He answers
"So you slept with her?"-I ask
"No, yes, I don't know. If I did I would remember...right? I don't remember anything"-He answers
"So there's a possibility that this baby is yours"-Me
He hangs his head
"Yes"-He releases
"I want her to abort it. I don't care how you do it but I want it done or I am taking everything and leaving. I will take your child with me and raise him with another man. You got that?"-I threaten
His face changes, as if he never expected that from me. I didn't either, who have I become? This is not me. This is not how I was raised. A baby is a blessing regardless of how it gets here but that woman that's carrying it is nothing but a curse! imagine living your life co-parenting with a baby mama like that.
And what would the tabloids say? the scandal! I can't allow it. I can't share my family with the likes of her. He gets up and storms out. I stay in the bedroom for a while, Nonsikelelo has already started on the pots so I can hibernate in here for as long as I want.

He comes back in the room after an hour "It's done" he mutters than walks out. I have heard that word many times when i'm listening in on his conversations. Specifically on the day Mandla shot a man infront of me and made his friends bury him, he made a mystery call at midnight and whispered those two words. Always so stern and final......

My train of thought is interrupted by a phone call, It's Nomzamo. She invites Mandla and I to Dalu's book launch at the end of the week. It's titled "An aliance within an Aliance- the memoir of a politician" The guy is such a nerd! I agree without a question so we finalise on time and say our goodbyes. I ought to get myself a copy so I'll understand the narrative behind it before I get there. There's nothing more annoying than being in a room filled with people that have more knowledge on why they are there than you do.

Mandla walks back in and I'm furious with him, how could he not tell me this? but at the same time, I need him, I yearn for him. He walks towards me and takes a seat. He always knows what I want and how I want it so I lay down. He takes off his shirt, his shoes, his pants, until he is completely naked then he comes in to the bed and comes in to me. Slowly, kissing every part of me, careful not to hurt my tummy. I have never seen a more tender side of him. It's all about pleasing me today, he has forgotten about him. I've always liked that about him. When we make love, It's always so intimate. It's never just about the sex but so much more. We finish together. I release my last "mhm" and lie still besides him, not saying a word. I am so exhausted now, I just want to sleep. He gets up to go to the bathroom and I wrap myself between the sheets.
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It's Parliament week, we decided to scratch the hotel idea altogether and crash with his family for the rest of our stay. More him than me though but because I'm not speaking to him, he made the executive decision and I had to just go with it. He can go die for all I care. It's funny cause we have sex every single day but i'm still not talking to him. Don't judge me, i'm pregnant for goodness sake! when he tries to start a conversation, I face the other direction or blatantly ignore him.

"He's on! he's on! it's his turn to speak!"-Nombulelo shouts from the lounge.
When Mandla is in parliament, It's customary for us to watch him and it's strange but he seems alot different on TV. He seems more intense, ready to attack and powerful. There is something so majestic about him.

We all hurdle up infront of the screen. The relationship between his family and I has grown. They've been extremly supportive since the night I found out about Mandlas "infidelity",  I think they feel sympathy for me and quiet frankly I feel the same. I feel pathetic, another woman was pregnant with my husbands child and I didn't know, it's demoralising, but then again, emphasis on the "Was".

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The girls look breathtaking as they walk down the steps. We are seated within the Hall of Peninsula University. Instead of a red carpet it's white, the tables are formally set up and under each chair, there is a gift bag including a signed copy of the book, two pens, a notepad and bottled water. Nomzamo is the Queen of Deco, The room looks like something out of a business magazine.

The ladies finally get to where i'm seated, each dressed stylishly appropriate for the event. It's alittle awkward since it's the first meeting after Thembis funeral. I still have flash backs of her death, that's how traumatic it was. Nomzamo ought to be stressed but she rather kick it in the front row seat with us. The press is here and i'm showing so you already know I'll make the front cover of every newspaper tomorrow. I'll beat them to it and announce it first on Instagram tonight. I look across the room and there is my man wearing a formal white shirt, denims and a blue leather Jacket. Seated next to Mpheleliseni, Melusi and Daluxolo on the podium.

The MC cracks a few jokes, takes some questions that Dalu answers, gives a speech and the ceremony is done quicker than we expected. The press leaves but the ladies stay behind to help clean up while the guys head over to the bar for some drinks.

Masthandile is bouncing all around the place, barely keeping in a smile but nobody really notices until Noma spots a diamond ring on her finger. She confirms our suspicions when she tells us that Mpheleliseni proposed before the girls weekend, she says that's why she called us over in the first place but unfortunately the worst happened before she could tell us. The excitement on her face while she tells us though! needless to say, we are all overjoyed for her. Yes, Noma included. That one has also come around alot this past month. She says the wedding was going to be sooner but it didn't feel right having it during this time. So she gives us a date which is five months from now. I'll be on the last trimister of my pregnancy then, I hope I'll be able to make it. We join the guys at the bar. Mandla and I are not in a good space, I barely talk to the guy at home but both of us are really good at pretending so we fake the love. Yes they are our friends but you never know who to trust with your relationship problems and besides, with Masthandiles happiness, I doubt any one of us would want to spoil the mood.

We all clap and cheer for Daluxolo upon his approach, It's sad cause one of us is not here so he suggests that we go check on Themba tomorrow morning to see how he's holding up. Melusi says he was in such a state the last time they spoke and Mpheleliseni says he never picks up the phone when he calls so first thing tomorrow morning, we're heading to the Eastern Cape, It's incredibly far from here but we'll take a luxury train. It'll be a field trip. Meaning it'll be very long hours of Mandla and I pretending.

We say our goodbyes and head home. The drive back is a silent one. We are so unhappy right now.