Suicidal Thoughts

Prologue

^^Ava^^

I sat in my bathtub starring down at the blade in my hand. It was time to forget about my day and do what I do best...

Cut.

I pressed the blade against my skin feeling warm liquid drip from my veins and kiss the oxygen that filled the room.

I removed the blade and watched the blood drip from my arm. I smiled to myself and repeated the action.

Cut.

Watch.

Smile.

Cut.

Watch.

Smile.

Cut.

Watch.

Smile.

Cut.

Watch.

Smile.

The shape I had made on my wrist was a bloody heart. The same bloody heart that allowed me to breathe. The same heart that has been broken so many times.

I don't know what this does for me except make me feel better. It's an amazing feeling now but I'll regret it later.

I'll be okay until then.

I watched the blood drip down into the water that filled the tub. I moved to the opposite wrist and looked at my veins playing hide and seek.

I sliced my wrist in the shape of a heart and smiled at the sight. It was beautiful. The thought of my blood draining my body scared me a bit but not enough to make me stop.

I watched and did it again this time making a box-like shape. It was amazing to be able to do this with my body.

It gave me a piece of mind. It lets me escape from my problems and right about now that's all I really needed. I sighed and set both of my wrists down into the water feeling a burning sensation that made me smile.

Pain is the hearts worse enemy. Yet people let others in with open arms to only be hurt again. It's crazy what goes through my mind throughout the day.

I'll get better. Maybe not now, or tomorrow. But soon....soon enough.....pain will be afraid of me.