Your Highness || KNJ 15+

| Chapter 6: Feelings

My body pulls itself straight up the minute I open my eyes. I feel my lungs collapsing as I gasp for air. A glass of water standing on the nightstand catches my attention. I roll over and throw my arm towards it to grab the glass of water. The water slowly glides it's way through my swollen throat.

After minutes of panicking I get up. The door is slightly open, making it easy for me to peek through it. My eyes glide over the furniture until it reaches a person's head. Hoseok.

I stand up since I was still sitting on the bed. My feet shuffle across the room. The door which I open with a soft push makes a sounds so annoying you want to set it on fire.

Everyone moves their head in my direction as soon as they hear the screaming door. "Hey, you're alive." Seohyun says.

I stare at my feet for a couple of seconds before replying. "Yeah, I guess I am."

My feet quickly move across the room, heading to the empty seat next to Seohyun. I sit down and she immediately grabs my hand, softly squeezing it.

The others continue talking, but she whispers something in my ear. "We all have stories that break you heart. Don't feel embarrassed about it."

One look in her eyes is all it takes to understand the true meaning behind 'caring for someone'. How can a person you just met make you feel safe?

"It might be a stupid question, but when do you call someone your friend?" I ask.

"When you've seen someone's flaws and are still by their side, then you're friends." She answers.

"So everyone in this room is my friend?"

She nodds. "And you're their friend."

In my entire life I've only met a few people who aren't at my house 24/7. Dahyun is one of them, but even though she would love to, she can't always be there for me when I need her. Hyungwon is only with me to show his face and then he's gone. I tried making friends around my neigbourhood, but they are the rich kind you dislike. The sad thing is, I'm just like them.

Seohyun and I talk for hours. Eventually it's six o'clock. Namjoon's eyes meet mine. 'Time to go.' He says without using words.

We all walk together through the pitch black forest, laughing. When we arrive at the busstop Hoseok instantly jumps in a bus. We wave him goodbye and sit down at the bench.

After ten minutes of talking it is Seohyun who gets up to leave. Jin quickly stands up and runs after her, into the bus. Just like we did ten minutes ago we wave them goodbye.

"He's so into her." I say.

Namjoon looks at me confused. "How do you know? You've only met a couple people who don't live at your house.

I roll my eyes. "You can see it in how his legs face her way when he sits, how he smiles when she opens her mouth to say something, how his eyes turn into shining diamonds when he looks at her or should I say stare. Whatever she does, it makes him feel as if he's falling, but she's the soft cloud who just catched him." While leaning onto my hand I sigh. "Whenever she touches him he just explodes from joy and it's so obvious, but so easy to misunderstand."

Our bus finally arives. "When you're alone 99% of the time you wacht a lot of romantic drama's."

We get on the bus and before I sit down Namjoon starts asking me everything about what you can tell from just looking at someone. We discuss the human body and other stuff which I find really interesting. When the bus stops we've completely lost our sense of reality. "Oh we are already here."

I walk out of the bus and wave at Namjoon. He runs to the door, but it closes before he can take a step closer to me. "Goodbye Namjoon."

His hands are pressed against the glass door, his face is sad and screaming 'why?'. I don't know what it is, but he seems mad about not standing next to me in the cold outdoors. The bus starts driving and he starts walking to the back of the bus. I wave until the bus disappears and start walking into the nothing to also disappear.

***

My hands are still freezing from walking outside at this time. Joongsoo was throwing some more wood in the fireplace and then grabbed my hands. She pulled me to sit in front of the fire.

The red colors made me feel very peaceful on the inside. Memories of today went through my mind. I couldn't help to smile, thinking back at how kind they were. However the warmth of the thoughts quickly left my body as I hear the ice queen entering the room.

"Where were you?!"

"It was a lot of fun." I stand up and walk to my mom. "I'm going to bed, jaljayo."

I turn around to leave the spot in front of my mother, but her claw wraps around my arm to pull me back. Her face is a couple of inches away from mine. I can feel her heavy breathing on my skin, disgusting.

She clasps her teeth together and without pulling her teeth apart she speaks. "You think you can get away with this so easy? Jjinja! You will do as I say and there's nothing you can do about it! If you ever decide to leave without permisson and push the consequences of your shoulder just like that, you will be locked in your room forever!"

I smile at her. "Please do so, you psycho."

The impact of my words make the room go silent. Her hand releases my arm. She hits my face.

The hand touching my soft skin and making a dent in it hurts. The hot skin against my still cold skin hurts. A feeling that you can compare to a knife cutting into your skin, it hurts. The bond of a mother and a child that means nothing to the mother, a bond that's similar to a wolf eating it's prey. You exist to make sure they survive and nothing more. All these things hurt.

My knees hit the ground. I want to touch the skin on my face to check if it's still there, but my body isn't cooperating.

The lights die while I'm still laying there, crying, cold. The sadness acts as a blancket and I fall asleep.