life update

A

Sooooooooo

went to the doctors for the physical for sports and they gave me this clipboard because I'm a tEeNaGER and it had a bunch of questions about yada yada and in the box below it asked if you had any concerns and I decided to go ahead and say it so I put something about my possible anxiety

because I'm really something

So the doctor came in and she was really nice and then she read the clipboard and we talked about it and she has a kid with anxiety
I also started crying and I don't know why

so she told me dad after my exam and we had to fill out this test thing

his was basically, "do you think your child has symptoms of any form of anxiety?"

and mine was basically, "do you think you have any form of anxiety or symptoms?"

so we did our tests and it was really quiet and then we talked about literally anything but the anxiety thing

like the dumb emojis on the wall and how to click ur heels

so the test was if your answers got over 25 it was a pretty sure sign and my dad got 29 and I got............ 51

my dad also gave me a 10 on the social anxiety questions and I gave myself a 7 sksksk I was being pretty lax on myself

so they're scheduling a counseling appointment and I might get a therapist but I don't want to spill stuff about myself in front of a ton of people (my parents and a therapist) and I don't know I can't talk well to anyone in real life at this point I feel like I'm just going to feel even more annoying to a stranger

also I don't want them to be condescending because I'm a child,,

don't know if my mom knows yet but I feel like I'd know if she knew.

they aren't going to put me on medication because I'm a child but therapy

I don't want my parents to be really intrusive after this either about me and my problems

I don't know I feel simultaneously lighter and heavier

~chloe