~~Harmony's point of view~~
All through elementary school and up they tell you how great high school is, and how great going to college, getting a job, and all around growing up is. But I'm here to tell you that they are all lies. High school is just a place they trap hormone driven criminals for seven hours so they don't do collateral damage. It's just an excuse for our parents to do something with us so that they don't feel like failures when we turn out to be nothing more than juveniles, garbage workers, and the very few lucky ones of us that may even make it good enough in life to working at a McDonalds.
Parents. They're another thing. They say that they love us, they tell you they care, they tell you how they're always going to be here for us. Then they leave you when you need them most. My mom? She's a drunk. Almost never sober, almost always in her own world. And my dad? Well my dad left us when I was 3, he saw my mom's problem and bailed, I guess he decided he didn't want me either. Typical men, running away when things get challenging.
I've lived in this house in Olney, Maryland my whole life. I've been in the same school chain too. First is was Pine Oak Day Care, then Pine Oak Elementary, Primary, and so on and so forth. Same old building designs, same old layout, just a couple more square feet on each side for the next one up. Your grade is like a second family, you're with them forever, accept the ones that either fail, skip ahead, or the few foreign exchange students. I've seen all of this people every day for most of my life, but they never see me.
My day consists of going to my school classes, reading a couple books, the internet, and drowning out the world with my music. No one sees me, I'm practically invisible. But I guess that's a good thing, that way no one will care or be hurt when I'm gone. I actually think it would be nice to just... stop breathing. To just slip away, no pain, just darkness, an eternal sleep. No more fighting through a day, no more school, no more dealing with people you don't like. Living another day is just wasting 24 hours prolonging the inevitable. At one point we all die, why not just get it over with now?
Sometimes I wonder why I'm still here. Why I waste my time with school and work. What am I waiting for? I already self harm. I cut, I erase my skin, once I even whipped myself with one of my father's old belts. I've thought about ending my life multiple times. Just writing a letter and hanging myself, or drowning in the bath, or just taking pills. Those sound nice, they're simple, but I want something else. One time I thought about jumping in front of a car. I almost did but something in me made me stop. It was like sleep paralysis almost. I was awake, I could look around, but I couldn't move my body. Then I heard someone tell me that my life was going to get better, things were going to change.
That was three years ago.
~~Luke's point of view~~
Today is my first day at my new school. Pine Oak High School, I just moved to Olney, Maryland from Phoenix, Arizona. We moved because, well, my mom tried to kill us all. She is currently in the jail back home. She said that we did nothing but put her through a living hell every day she saw us, she said she was tired of it and that she had to end it... so she tried to kill us, I suppose that's easy enough. Even my dad doesn't understand it, she had never been like this at all, she was never upset or mad or anything. But that's all in the past, I just want a new start.
I got my schedule and my favorite class, biology is first period. I don't really know anyone here so I'm going to have to make some new friends. Most people don't understand others' struggles when trying to make friends. Different people take different approaches. They say just be yourself, but sometimes "just being yourself" isn't enough. There's always something more you need, a special talent for instance. I don't know, at least that's how it was back in Arizona.
So it's fifth period already, this day has gone quick. I've made a couple friends, and a couple girls have even asked me out. How desperate are the people here? They don't even know me! What's worse is I'm pretty sure some of these girls are pregnant. Like... WHAT! I don't get it, what is with some of these people? Were they born without common sense or something?
It's the end of the day. I was talking to one of my friends and I saw her. There was a girl walking in the hallway with her ear buds firmly in her ears, she had a blank expression like she was just walking without a destination. She glanced over at me, then continued walking. I wonder who she is. There is just something about her that attracts me... something that these other girls don't have. I don't know what it is... but it's something.
~~Harmony's point of view~~
I was walking to my locker once school got out, lost in my music, when I felt someone watching me. So I look over, and there is the new kid, just staring at me. For once part of me wanted to walk up to him and say hi, maybe try to be friends with him. However, the other part, the part that is so lost from the world of people, and so far from being socially acceptable, decided that I wouldn't be able to find words. So I ended up just glancing over and walking by him. Back to my Stone head mother I go!
