I could sense their presence, and they swarmed around me like flies. I couldn't help but think, "Something's wrong..."
The woman next to me kept saying, "Dad," and tapping my arm. The men and women in the white and blue clothes, started me on a new medication, and I think it's making me tired. When my eyes finally flickered open I instantly recognized one of the woman, but I couldn't remember her name. I shifted my gaze down to my arm, and tried to rub off some food I had spilled on myself from dinner.
"Dad," the woman says again, "that's a tattoo,"
I looked up at another one of the women who crowded around me, and wanted to yell, "No! It's food." I opened my mouth to say this, but all that came out was something about coffee and my street rod.
She continued after a short while, "See, Dad. It's your name going from left to right." She spells out the name, taking her time, passing her finger through each letter, "D-a-v-e," looking at her father with kind eyes and a warm smile she continues, "and this name,"
"Barb," I interrupted. I knew how to read the up and down lettering that completed the tattoo, and I didn't need it to be spelled out.
The lady I initially recognized started smiling, made her way to me, and gave me a kiss on the forehead. She ran her finger over the word Barb, I thought of all the possibilities. Was she Barb?
The only person left in the room was a younger looking girl, and she didn't talk much. She came to visit me in this place a lot, and she even brought me my favorite candy bar, a Chewy-Louie. I noticed they changed the wrapping and the name to something called The Milky Way. I opened my mouth to eat the candy bar, but I couldn't remember how to eat it. Do I swallow it whole? Or do I suck on it till it dissolves?
The lady I assumed to be Barb could obviously tell I was confused, so she spoke up, "Use your teeth Dave." Then she smiles and runs her fingers across her teeth.
In that instant, I knew exactly what to do. I chomped down on the candy bar, "Mmmm!" I let out a smile. It was very good. I looked across the table at the young girl, and smiled. I was going to thank her, but I couldn't find the words.
As the time passed the women thought I needed to get up and get my daily exercise, but I couldn't. My hips were in too much pain, and I didn't know how to tell them.
Luckily the doctors already knew, so they told the women for me. Then they decided if I couldn't get some physical exercise, I should get some brain exercise. They told me to lift my feet but this confused me, I needed my feet to drive. The lady that kept calling me dad spoke up, "Dad, I need you to lift your feet so I can push you to the T.V. room."
After a good thirty minutes we arrived in the T.V. room, and the women around me kept saying something about the Grammys being on the television.
I don't think I glanced at the television once the entire time we were there. I couldn't help but notice how these people, for whatever reason, stuck on a happy face to come visit me. I meant something to them. They probably mean something to me. At this moment I felt real words starting to form in my mouth, so I didn't overthink them I just said whatever it was. This is what I said, "I feel my life slipping away."
I noticed the vibe in the room change. There was no more forced smiles, no more jokes to get me to laugh, they even switched their attention from the T.V. to me. Barb gazed at me then turns to the other woman sitting across the table. As a tear falls from her face and down her cheek she says, "I don't know how much more I can take of this disease. Alzheimer's has taken so much from him and our family."
I wanted to say something, and I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay, but I couldn't. I couldn't find the words.
Eventually, everyone told me they had to go home, and I would say, "Can I come with you?" This would make them sad, and I didn't understand why.
"We will be back," they'd say, and they would always return.
