Shotgun Pretty

Days like these

The cool April air blew through the cracked open window of the bedroom. Spring down in Georgia was nowhere near as cold as spring could be where I came from in New York. It was a breath of fresh air. I stirred for a moment, hearing my mother downstairs on the phone having a conversation with who I assumed was my father.

"Yes, she is still sleeping. She hasn't eaten much or said much more than that. Yeah. Well, I'll tell her you called. Love you too. Bye."

Footsteps started to grow louder coming down the hallway as I pulled my teal comforter over my head. I rolled my eyes when there was a knock at the door. I didn't answer.

"Nora, honey, I made breakfast. Your favorite, waffles."

I stayed quiet.

"Please, baby, you need to eat something. At least a few bites. Then you can go back to laying in bed." My mother's sweet southern voice sounded so innocent. All the years she had lived in New York, it had not changed her. My father was from upstate and met her at a college football game when she was up there visiting friends. They decided to move back to my mother's hometown of Jefferson, Georgia to be closer to her family, as all of my father's side of the family had not interacted with us after his mother passed away.

I sighed and threw the comforter off. "Fine. But only because you took the time to make it, and it's waffles."

She walked over to me and pulled me in to a giant hug, smoothing down my chocolate brown hair. We went downstairs and I sat at the tall bar stool at the island. She passed a plate full of waffles and bananas with whipped cream my way. I had to give it to her, she was one damn good cook. And she knew how to get me to feel better in any situation. She had been trying for the past few weeks since the accident.

"Fresh orange juice. It's good for the soul." She smiled brightly, placing a big glass in front of me. She always said everything was good for the soul. I wish I had her optimistic outlook on life. I just didn't know anymore.

I began to cut in to my waffle and shove some in to my mouth one by one. I hadn't eaten much the last couple weeks. I could feel it too. I was run down, bags under my eyes, and could care less about passing a comb through my hair. I could care less about a lot of things since that night. I kept getting flashbacks. Yelling and fighting with him. A beer bottle smashing against the dark pavement of the sidewalk. The phone call an hour later.

"Nora?" I snapped out of my own thoughts and looked at my mother.

"Hmm?"

"What were you thinking about? You were lost in thought and had this pained look on your little face."

"Oh, nothing." I paused, "Momma, why'd he have to go? Why'd my last words to him have to be I hate you?"

My eyes started to swell with tears. I set my fork down on my plate and put my head in my hands, feeling defeated. My mother came around the island and embraced me in her warm arms.

"We never know why anything happens, darling. It's not your fault. Robbie knew you loved him, baby. He shouldn't have gotten in that truck in the state that he did, but it happened. You can't help what the good Lord has planned. But he knew you loved him, there is no doubt about that." Her soothing voice calmed me enough to pull away and look at her. For the past six weeks I have been a complete disaster since the night my boyfriend had been in an accident that took his life. Herself and my father had been doing the best that they could do to make it all easier for me. But I still had days like these. I just couldn't help but blame myself for making him angry. If I had just taken his keys he would still be here.

There was a small knock on the front door. I pulled away from my mother and wiped my eyes on the sleeves of my white long sleeve t-shirt.

She answered the door.

"She's in the kitchen."

A moment later my best friend, Lauren, came peering around the corner. "Oh, girl."

She too put her arms around me, as I reciprocated.

"It's good to see you out of bed for once." She cracked a smile, her light blue eyes lighting up. "What do you say we do something tonight? I heard that there is a bonfire over at Cody's friend Kolby's house. What do you say?"

I forced a small smile and just shook my head. Better late than never to get out and turn around a day like this.