Shotgun Pretty

I Needed To Know

The engagement party. The whole mess. I ran out of the coffee shop and didn't know where to go. The night before was not what I was planning on when I agreed to go celebrate Brantley and Jana. Not what I had planned on doing this morning when I went for coffee. The hot sun beating down on me just amplified the fact that I felt like I couldn't breathe in this moment. They broke up? It surely can't be because of me. There was no way. I was not a home wrecker. And I did not want Brantley anyway. I was fine all by myself in my little bungalow. I was fine with my quiet Friday nights all alone with a glass of wine and chips and salsa for dinner. I was fine.

All of this swirling around in my head was making me dizzy. By the time I stopped for a second, I was nearly three blocks away. Just standing in the middle of a sidewalk in town. What was going on? 

I turned around to see Momma walking up the sidewalk towards me, both drinks in her hands. The look on her face said it all. 

"Momma, I didn't mean for all of this to happen. I didn't mean for this to happen." I kept repeating, tears starting to stream down my flushed cheeks.

"Nora, I know. You don't have to convince me." She stated matter of fact, but I knew there was something else she had wanted to say.

I looked at her through glassy eyes, "I need to talk to him." 

She was starting to say something, I don't know if it was to stop me or encourage me. My ears were deaf to the world. I ran to my bungalow to grab my car keys. I opened the front door frantically searching around. I found the keys to my Tahoe on my kitchen counter and my purse on the island bar stool. I ran back out the door as quickly as I came in and slammed the door shut. Hopping in my car, I aimlessly turned up the radio and headed out of town towards his home. Was I stupid? Maybe. Was she going to be there? Maybe. Was there going to be a fight? Most definitely. I could guarantee it. But I needed to go. I just needed to go. I needed to clarify that I was not the reason Brantley and Jana were calling it quits.