@Quiet_Pen
chapter one
The once upon a time starting doesn't seem very appealing here. Also, you keep shifting the tenses, maybe work on that a little bit?
It is really hard to believe that a kid doesn't know what a puppy is. Also, that he hasn't gone outside the house at all. Maybe introduce a little bit of the family in the beginning?
chapter two
The starting of the chapter started really good but the flashback ending up getting a bit confusing. Like this one:
Since a lot of stuff happened in this chapter, it was pretty hard to follow. Maybe slow down the pace?
Overall
This story has good potential; you just need to pay a little attention to grammar and a slower pace.