MURDER TAKES TIME

Chapter 25

Reformation

Delaware Department of Correction, Smyrna, Delaware—13 Years Ago

When Mamma Rosa died, it devastated me. Each day pushed me beyond limits I thought were impassable. There were days when I felt great, dreamt of a getting out and starting a new life with Angie. But they tended to be overshadowed by the concerns that she wouldn’t be waiting for me, or—even worse—that the baby wasn’t mine. On the good days I clung to the words she wrote in her letter. ‘Find me, Niccolo Fusco. Damnit, you better.’ But on other days, I hated her, cursed her for leaving me here, so lonely.

I fought it every day, but I was losing the battle. Two weeks after the funeral, I got into a fight in the yard and almost killed a guy. After that, I did begin a new life. Trained every day. Boxed. Ran. Practiced martial arts. Lifted weights. Ran some more. I met a Chinese guy who taught me mental training—Qigong, it was called—a set of breathing exercises that he swore had powers to heal. My goal was to learn, so I followed him, focusing on the exercises at night when I was alone in my cell. After a lot of practice, I got to the point where I could feel the essence of the qi flow through me, or at least, he said that’s what it was. I didn’t know what it was, and I didn’t care. It helped me relax and sleep. I had nothing better to do with my time.

By the end of year two, I could run ten miles at a good clip. Smokes were long gone from my daily routine; they went with my first month of serious running. Funny thing was I still missed them, every day, all day. 

Just as I was getting to accept my new life, Tank Moresco got released, taking my protection with him. I had settled into a habit of taking a shower after my evening run. One day three white guys tried to backdoor me. It was probably a good thing it happened in the shower; the soap prevented them from getting a good grip. Once I slipped away, it gave me all the time I needed. I ran, letting them build momentum, and then I stopped, did a quick spin, and charged them. I hit the first one in the throat. When he went down, face first, I jammed my heel into the back of his head, slamming him into the tile floor. At the same time, I threw a bar of soap at the one nearest me. He tried to protect his face. I used the opportunity to punch him in the balls. Then I grabbed hold of them and yanked him off his feet. The back of his head hit with a thud, blood mixing with the water running toward the drain. The last guy ran, but I caught him and took him down. I grabbed a fresh bar of soap from the ledge and jammed it up his ass. He screamed when it went in. Guess it was bigger than it looked. I kicked him in the face as I stepped over him, then turned to them as I left the shower. 

“Try anything again, and I’ll kill every one of you.” 

The guards put me in solitary for a week. That was all right; it allowed me time for meditations. I became more aware when I meditated, things suddenly coming to me as realities. One of them was how fighting worked. You didn’t have to be the best boxer or the best martial artist or the best shot with a gun to win. Fact is, during the heat of the moment—and I’m not talking competitions here, but when life is on the line, or more importantly when death is on the line—that’s when it shows who has what. I realized that any one of the guys in the shower should have taken me, same as that night against the Woodside guys. I just wanted it more. Willing to risk more to get it. That night of meditation changed my life yet again. Gave me new insight.

A few days later the guards let me out. I saw the fear in their eyes when they looked at me. After that day I saw it in everybody’s eyes.

For the next few years, I trained in everything. Not just the physical, and not meditation, but books. I learned history, math, science, law, English. Even geography. Sister Thomas sent me books, and I absorbed everything I could. I’ll have to say that, of everyone I came in contact with, she was the only one who could stare me down. Must have been a psychological thing from childhood, but regardless, she managed it. I guess Sigmund Freud would have something to say about that. Probably say I wanted to screw Sister Thomas—Freud’s answer to everything. 

By year six, my physical presence and appearance had changed, and my knowledge base had grown tenfold, so I focused on developing social skills. “Connections” we called it in the streets. I decided if I was going to make any headway, I had to make a deal with the blacks. They were the second biggest group in the prison, but they stuck together better than the whites.  

I waited for a sunny day then walked up to the blacks. The circle of beefy bodyguards parted to let me through then closed around me like hyenas circling a lion. The leader was a guy named Monroe. He wasn’t big, but word was that he was as tough as anyone. As tough as me, some people whispered.

Monroe was sucking the last bit of life from a cigarette when I approached. “You got balls coming in here like this.”

“Yeah, well I figured you’d want to know why I came before you barked orders to your dogs.”

I thought that pissed him off, but he laughed. I was counting on that.

“You’re the Rat?”

“That’s what they call me.”

“I hear your protection left. That what you coming to me for?”

I shook my head. “Cigarettes,” I said, and stared. Looked right through him. “I can get all the cigarettes you—or anyone else in here—needs.”

Monroe had been sitting on a bench. He stood now, face to face with me. “Why you bringing this to me? White boys want your pretty ass? Who knows, maybe I like white-boy ass too. Been in here a long time.”

I smiled, got closer, our faces almost touching. “You’ve got ears, Monroe. I know you heard what happened to the last ones who tried that.”

He seemed to want to back up, but he held his ground. “Yeah, I heard.” He laughed again, and when he did, several of his men joined him. “So tell me about this deal,” Monroe said, and motioned for me to sit next to him on the bench.

It only took half an hour to hammer out a deal. I would arrange delivery of cigarettes, smuggling them in through visitations and guards. He would handle distribution. I got twenty percent and didn’t have to touch anything. 

After we completed negotiations, we shook hands. He called to me as I walked away.

“I thought you would have asked for protection.”

I turned, letting my eyes hold him. “Don’t need it.”

Monroe laughed louder than I have ever heard him. “You’re one crazy dude, Rat. I like you.”

“You, too, Monroe. Nice doing business with you.”

I walked across the yard with a huge smile on my face. Not only had I made a deal that would bring me money, but it would be invaluable for connections. And as far as protection…I didn’t have to ask. That would have weakened my position. Besides, they knew if something happened to me, the cigarettes dried up. That was far more important than a piece of white ass. 

News traveled fast about my status. After that I made contacts with everyone—Hispanic, Italian, Jew, Irish—didn’t matter. I figured that when I got out, all of my contacts would be valuable. Early on these deals caused me trouble. Prisons are gang—and territory—oriented. Freud would have probably said it was because we all wanted to screw each other. The way I figured it, some of the guys in there must have read his books and taken the message to heart. 

After a particularly troublesome negotiation with another group, two guys attacked me. I killed one, blinded the other. I had to send a message. The attacks stopped, but the fight earned me three more years on my sentence. I did the time easy enough, counting the days until I could see Angela and start a new life. 

During the final years of my sentence, Nicky the Rat—the guy they beat up when I first came in here—ruled this little kingdom. Even the guards chipped in to throw me a party for my release. I didn’t hold any delusions that it was out of love—from the guards or the inmates. They just wanted me out of there. 

As for me, all I dreamed of was getting back with Angie. Maybe get married. Live together forever.