Set Fire to my Atmosphere

Chapter 17

She was so tired. Not in the physical way, but mentally, she was exhausted.

"Rowan," Aelin called out. He was standing against the frame of the window looking out into the courtyard.

"Rowan please talk to me," Aelin pleaded.

His pine green eyes flickered as they swept over her frail thin body.

"Aelin it's not like that," He sat down next to her.

"Then what's wrong?" Aelin asked.

"You didn't think I'd come for you."

"Rowan-" She started.

"You didn't...you didn't think I would come for you," Rowan let the pain show on his face as he looked into her blue eyes that were now glassy.

She rubbed his hand with her bony fingers.

"I thought you would stay and take care of the war and Terrasen," Aelin whispered.

"To hell with that, Aelin. I will come for you even if the Goddess of Death claimed you as her own."

The tears on her face hit the bed covers.

Rowan's hands gently cupped her face as she looked back at him.

"Because I love you, to whatever end," He whispered.

She smiled through her tears as she replied, "Thank you for finding me even when I thought death was inevitable."

He brought his mouth close to hers as she whispered, "I love you too Buzzard."

She missed that. Missed his scent, Gods even his canines, she missed it all. She dreamt about it in that coffin. Dreamt about a future that didn't seem within her grasp at the time. Having a lavish wedding, going to the biggest inn on Earth, and...and having kids. She longed for little Rowan's or little Aelin's. She wanted to care for her own kids.

And she would talk to Rowan about it tomorrow.

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"Elide," Lorcan called out.

She kept walking through the halls of that castle though. The castle of her Queen who almost died because of...because of her. She felt so insignificant compared to Aelin, and she was, so she would've died for her in a heartbeat but the Queen saved her life in exchange for hers.

She hadn't realized when she'd stopped walking though for Lorcan grabbed her hand and gently pinned her against the wall.

"Let me go," Elide said.

"Talk to me," Lorcan pleaded.

"What is there to say? That I have been blaming you for the near death of my Queen when in reality it's my fault? Is that what you want me to admit?" Elide looked down.

"If you need to blame me go ahead, but you can't hate me," He whispered.

She looked up at his eyes, the eyes that helped her even find Aelin.

"I don't hate you," She whispered. "You saved her."

He just stared at her.

"I love you, Elide. It took me a while to realize what love even was but I now know Elide Lochan that I love you. I love you in the way Whitethorn loves Aelin. And you don't have to say it back but-" But before he could finish Elide was already on her tiptoes kissing him.

"I love you too," She muttered. And for the first time ever, Lorcan grinned.