Life and Love

Demon in a disguise

TW: Suicide, and abuse, gore

As I look in the mirror in my room I tell my self words of encouragement; I'd found this always boosts my self confidence before going to sleep. As I'm about to change into one of my many onesies a door opens.

"Hey babe." Loki says.

"Hey..." I trail offin confusion . Why is he in my room at such a late hour? I think to my self.

"What was that for?" He asks almost sounding pissed.

"I'm just not sure why you came so late, I'm about to go to bed. Alone." I tell him.

"Why are you being so weird about me coming in your room!? Do you get like this with roman, the guy you share the room with?" He half shouts.

"I-I'm not, I-i was just wondering why you did it so late. Plus Roman takes an extra half hour to get in." I respond nervously.

"No, you weren't just wondering." He says frustratingly. "Why the fuck don't you want me around, you said you liked me, has that changed?!" He shouts at me backing me into the wall.

"No, no please I'm sorry." I say to him.

"Do you like me?" He asks grabbing my wrist. "Well? Answer me." He tightens his grip, causing me to wince

"Y-yes, that's not it though. I just thought that everyone would be settling into bed by now. So I just wasn't expecting anyone in the room right now. I'm sorry. " I say my hand now shaking.

"Oh please, how stupid do I look to you?" He asks.

"You don't." I tell him. He lets go of my wrist.

"You know you're annoying right?" He says, putting his hand on my hip. "You won't find anyone else who can deal with you." He says in an almost arrogant tone. He walks out of my room, brushing his fingers on my skin.

I stumble back to my bed, my heart racing from the fear I was feeling. Why had his mood turned so quickly? I think to my self. I know I can get energetic at times, but I didn't know it was making him so annoyed. I lay back on my pillow and stare at the ceiling, and as I drift off I flash back to my life before I'd been put in a boys home.
~~
*5 years earlier*

I'd just gotten home from school.
"Mom?" I asked my mother who was slumped over the sofa; the usual beer bottles scattered around the room, and a full ashtray of cigarettes.

"Mom." I said shaking her arm lightly.

"What do you want." She groaned; using her arm to find my head, like waking up to an alarm clock.

"It's five o'clock mom, you have to get up." I said.

"Can you get me my pills?" She ask me still being lazy. I walk to the bathroom and searched for the pills she'd been referencing; they had been antidepressants, needed due her 2 suicide attempts the previous year. One that had been the cause of my father leaving over night, and the other that I'd had wittiness to.

It had been traumatizing, seeing my mother in that physical state; she'd attempted to hang her self in the basement, her face blue from the lack of oxygen, I'd thought she was surely dead. I'd reacted quickly, taking a ladder and finding the sharpest object I could; I'd cut the rope. As I laid over her body I wailed; only to be surprised when I heard a gasps for air. I hugged my mother, but had quickly ran upstairs to call 911 to report what had happened; taking the sharp object with me. After that she was put on medications to prevent it from happening again.