Beyond What We Know [COMPLETED]

CHAPTER 14 - So Brave Yet So Fragile

After what happened – or rather, didn't happen – at the market, I felt like giving up. Like it wasn't worth it anymore; I really did. I won't say I broke down, but it did affect me. It had plagued my mind for so long, I had spent so much time trying to convince everyone that this wasn't just some prank of random act of vandalism. All for it to just end abruptly like that? I couldn't conform. I still can't. And I won't. The world out there is still disturbingly quiet, and there's something inside of me that hungers for a reason why.

In any case, I couldn't let everything that Lee told me slide past me, so I felt like I should start writing these things down. Every detail, every difference from one to the other, all of it. In case something ever happens to me, to us, and someone else one day finds out about these creepy occurrences, maybe these notes will help them find an answer. I found an unused notebook inside an old chest, so I decided to use it. I started by writing down everything I knew about those unsettling graffiti – everything from where I found them to the way they were written; I also made a small note on how we stopped seeing survivors. Then, I moved on to Lee's descriptions of their nightmares, with their help of course. I was upstairs in the bedroom, sitting on the windowsill, re-reading all of it, and even after knowing what happens in them, some of the pages still sent chills down my spine.

At some point I couldn't concentrate on what I was reading, since two familiar voices began to fade in below me outside. "Is there something wrong?" I heard the question come from Locke.

I wasn't looking down so as not to give myself away, and tried to scoot inside a little bit while remaining on the window. I knew very well that what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't help it. What if it was something serious? What if someone was hurt? I mean, Locke is our nurse, so it makes sense they'd talk to him. What if we were in potential harm's way, and the next step was to come talk to me? Then I would already know about it and that would save us time! So, I kept listening. I had to know about it, regardless of how I did it; it's my job to protect them.

"Wrong... Well, I don't exactly know if it's wrong, I... Listen, there's something I need to talk to you about", an answer from... Diego?

And there goes my notebook. I moved ever so slightly to adjust my legs and accidentally pushed the notebook out the damn window. In hindsight, if I really wanted to listen in, it would've been much smarter not to do it while sitting on the windowsill... Obviously, my first reaction was to run away from the window before either of them saw me. "Great, now how am I going to get that back without looking suspicious", I thought to myself. I paced around the room for a few moments before finally mustering the courage to reach for the door. Only I wasn't the one to open the door; it was Diego. And we almost collided.

"D-Diego..." He caught me by surprise.

"I think you dropped this", he gave me a side smile and handed me the notebook.

"I, uh, yeah", I grabbed it and continued, "I was going through my notes on the window and it, uh, it just slipped, you know? Should've done it inside, I guess", I chuckled. I really should've.

"Be more careful next time. If Sam had been down there, you would've had a hard time getting the notebook back."

"Yeah, thanks", I placed the notebook on the bed.

"Hey, hum... Ella... Can I ask you something?" It sounded like something was troubling him.

I nodded and smiled, "Sure. Shut the door if you need to." I sat on the bed and waited for him.

He did shut the door, and then proceeded to slowly sit next to me. "Say, hypothetically there's this person that you, uh, that you have feelings for, right...? I need your help. How do you get around to telling them that you like them?"