Lost

Day 8

"Chisty, you have to go to the doctor or something. Someone who can do reaserch on what might have happened to you."
We are sitting on the bed, talking about what happened yesterday.
"Yeah, maybe. I think I had to do a check-up anyway today."

We get up to have breakfast in the kitchen. But only halfway through the door Maria already asks me: "Chisty! You know we have to go to the doctor today don't you?"
"Good morning Maria. Yes I slept well, thanks for asking." I say with a slightly agitated voice, but also joking.
"Sorry, good morning, sit down."
"To answer your question: I didn't forget." I continue.

Maria and Dani are already having breakfast. Maria a small bowl of yoghurt, fruits and oatmeal, Dani just a big bowl of cornflakes.
"I feel like eating pancakes or something like that." Kris looks subtly at Maria.
"Well then, make 'em." she answeres casually. I grin go Maria!

"Ugh! I need someone to make me breakfast every morning!" Now he looks at me.
"I ain't serving yo lazy ass Kostov! This is the 21st century!" Feminism on point.
Dani and Maria burst laughing:
"See? She's here for just a week and she already knows how lazy you are!"

Though, Kris' sad face breaks my heart: "Alright Kostov, we'll make them together."
It takes us a while to make them since we both are so clumsy:
"Oops..." I cracked an egg at the edge of the bowl but everything slides down the wrong side of the bowl.
Kris starts laughing but drops the bottle of milk into the sink, where a lot of it spills out. After we both cleaned up the mess we continue.

"Ugh! My arms are still a little weak I guess!" I groan while I try to mix the dough.
"Let me help you." he laughs while he stands behind me and grabs the whisk, his arms on both sides of me. "Better?"
"Lots." I say, so he presses his body closer to my back.
"Yup, lots better." I sigh.

He grins, and starts kissing my neck. "Kris, c'mon, we're making breakfast now. You gotta choose."
"I choose you." he tries to turn me around, so he can kiss me on the mouth. Trough my giggles he's able to get some loose, before we hear Dani call from out of the living room:
"Hey kids! Are you having too much fun again!?" and then Maria:
"Daniel Kostov! Shush!"

Eventually we made the pancakes and had a good breakfast. Or shall I call it brunch? Since it took us so long.
"Ready to go?" Maria asks, "we have to be there at twelve."
"I'm ready."
In the hallway I grab her arm.
"Maria, there is something you should know. I think I'm suffering some sort of trauma,... 'cause... yesterday... with Kris, I... panicked, and..."

"Okay, okay calm down." she lays her hands on my shoulders. Only now I realize I'm shaking, the words came out like one panic-stream.
"The doctor we're going to is a young woman who knows what she's doing. She's very good at talking and stuff... She might as well play for your therapist."

I look at her, slightly relieved.
"You'll be fine, Chisty. Come here." she gives me a hug.
When I'm calmed down, we depart on foot.
We don't have to stay very long in the waiting room before we enter. She greets us in Russian, which I start to understand:
"Привет, я Чистота." I try, as Kris teached me. But luckily, she speaks English too.

"First, I'll have to do the usual check-up. Afterwards, you have time to do your story."
I undress and stay calm while she checks all the usual stuff: heartrithm, weight, length,...
I don't feel so uncomfortable anymore, but still I have to tell myself to stay calm.

"You seem alright, all your injuries were temporary. The hospital sent me the results of your blood tests. The drug given to you is called calor herba or 'warm herb'. It's rare in Europe, much used in Latin America, and effective for kidnappings."

"I never heard of it." Maria says quietly.
"That's because we want to keep it secret. In short, good people don't want others to use it, bad people don't want to get caught while dealing it."
How did my kidnapper get to it then? I think, I didn't say a word yet, Maria speeks for me:

"What are the effects?"
"First a warm feeling, then loss of memory, and then willingness. So much that you would do anything others ask you to do. It's often used for slaves but also for kidnappings."
"No wonder everyone keeps it secret." Maria says, more to herself than to us.

"You had one big dose of it, so you don't suffer the effects of addiction. You do suffer from serious memory loss. The only cure: time and patience. It will come back eventually."
"We have both." Maria smiles.
"Do you remember anything from what happened?"

"Only from my nightmares." I say, "Always the same voice. 'Good girl' he says. I remember pain..." My throat squeezes shut, I start crying. "I just hope he didn't rape me!" Is the last thing I say before I burst in tears.

"I can assure you, the nurse in the hospital took DNA from... your private parts. The only DNA they found was yours." She sees I don't fully understand, so she continues: "That means that we are shure you're not raped."

Tears of relieve stream down my face. I realize now how much that question bothered me in the background.
"Are you comforted?" the doctor asks.
I nod. For shure I am.
"Then if you're ready, you may go. You can call if you have more questions, but for now, you don't even have to return here."

Maria thanks her and pays the necessary amount. When I get back home I refund everything, the doctor, the clothes, the food, everything, I say to myself.

When we walk back to the apartment Maria tries to cheer me up:
"The boys are out with friends now... but we can watch some movies if you like?"
"That would be nice, thank you."
With a cold lemonade we watch some popular romantic movies. They're alright, but it's not my type.

In the evening the boys return.
"Good evening!
Ugh, that movie? Maria you watched it like five times." Dani says when he sees us.
"Only three! Well, four now, but it's amazing! Right Chis?"
I nod, when Maria looks at the boys I start shaking my head. "No" I form with my lips.

"Okidoki, fun for you, but now we are here so let us watch something else!" he sits down next to her and puls the remote from out of her hands.
While they argue, Kristian sits down next to me, and asks quietly:
"Hey, how was it at the doctor's?"

"Very good actually. She was able to comfort me a lot." I explain everything that happened earlier that day. I too talk quiet. He listens with attention. Tears form in my eyes when I'm ready, so he hugs me.

"Those are tears of happiness, you know?" I say with my face in his chest.
"Yes, I do. I'm so happy for you." he whisperes.
"Thank you Kris. I love you."
It's the first time I actually say that to him.
He looks me in the eyes.
"I love you too Chisty."