Heart of Grenades

Chapter 2

My eyes opened, and there was a second of bliss before a migraine cracked through my head. I growled, annoyed as my hands rushed to my head. That's when I noticed the blood smeared all over my punching bag and my knuckles, as well as on the floor where I collapsed. Every memory from the day before smacked me as I began crying again. Deku leaving me for hal...Todoroki, storming out of school, using the punching bag... it all hurt.

I grabbed my phone, it was the next day. I was out for 27 hours, damn.

My eyes glanced over all of the pictures lining my walls. Pictures of Deku and I. The tears threatened to spill again, as I got up. I'll never be as good as Todoroki is for him. I'm not as kind, not as good, not as heroic, not as nice, and definitely not as talented. I can't make Deku happy anymore, and Todoroki can. I would just get in the way of Deku's happiness. That is something that can't happen. I still love him.

Already in my school uniform from yesterday, I headed out of my room and to the door. How can I endure seeing them together?!? I thought to myself. Walking out of the house, ignoring my mother and everything around me. I started walking the path to Deku's house out of pure instinct. Hell, I didn't even notice until I saw them walking together. Everything broke just a little bit more. They held hands and laughed like Deku and I used to. Not surprisingly, they didn't even notice me. I felt invisible. Once they arrived, me just behind them, I went to homeroom. Kirishima stood waiting with one hand on my desk, leaning onto it with that goddamn signature fanged smile.

"Bakugo! Where the hell were you yesterday?" He asked.

"None of your goddamn business you motherfucking hedgehog" I half snarled, half growled in return.

Kirishima, used to my frequent cussing and taunts, had no reaction. "Were you crying? Your eyes are kinda puffy."

"Psh, no," I said, crossing my arms and looking away.

"Suuuure. But really. You look like shit."

I just flipped him off.

Kirishima chuckled, "What, did your little Deku break up with you or something?" The dumbass smirked.

I visibly stiffened and clenched my fists. Kaminari came up and punched him in the arm.

"Kirishima!" Kaminari spoke through his teeth, "Deku and Bakugo DID break up!!"

Kirishima's eyes widened as he started to get a little flushed. "O-oh god...Bakugo I'm so sorry! I-I didn't know!"

"It's fine." I lied, gritting my teeth. That's when Todoroki showed up, arm wrapped around Deku's shoulder.

"Oh hey, Bakugo!" Todoroki tightened his wrap on Deku's shoulder, bringing him closer. The look in his eyes screamed That's what you get for calling me a candy cane motherfucker, you grenade whore. I just snarled gently. Aizawa walked-er-hopped into the classroom. Time seemed to fly until lunch rolled around. Todoroki and Deku walked there hand in hand, smiling and laughing. I could feel my fists clenching. The air around me seemed to buzz. Everything inside me hurt and ached. The scabs on my knuckles threatened to burst open. I left before lunch even ended, the pain was too much to bear. Storming home and dropping my bag on the floor, I began hitting my bloodstained punching bag again, re-splitting open my knuckles before collapsing onto the ground, feeling nothing. Everything inside me was numb. It felt like there were weights on my lungs, Holding me from breathing. Everything I was felt empty like I had been ripped open and dumped out. It felt like I was being pulled in two directions, splitting down the middle.

"I don't understand..." I spoke slowly, staring at my shaking hands. That's when I caught the glint in my eye, reflecting off a knife. I reached forward, wrapping my bloody hand around the handle of the knife. Bringing it up to my face, staring into its reflection, I knew what to do. I set the blade's edge carefully on my wrist and jerked it to the right. Blood welled in the open wound, a stinging sensation filling my arm and body. It...hurt...so good? Everything faded away, and before I knew it, one cut had become one hundred. I dropped the knife out of pure shock.

what have I done...