WITHIN US

Chapter 1

Saturday

Would you be going for the wedding party? It was a question mum have been asking me all week and today been the actual party I didn't see myself going,at the long run I will be insulted for getting knock up twice with two different man without getting married or the men staying,I know Davis would have stay if I hadn't push him away like I did and I also know I would have gotten married to him if my mum hadn't make our relationship her's.
I look at her from where she is been playing with jayjay  and told her plainly I won't be attending,she was quick to tell me she know I won't want to go and nobody will stay at home with me,it either I go with them or stay home alone.

It won't be the first time they left me but I was really hoping one of my brother's will stay home since  I might give birth any day from now,but I know they too won't want to stay they all love parties not like they can throw parties too they just love attending other people's own. I just move my shoulder as a reply to say I don't mind putting the baby down she left my room to go prepare

I was tired and still breastfeeding jayjay and with the pregnancy I couldn't even think of party,my body aches not to even say my waist

I can't just wait to bring this baby into this world,I already know what to name him or her *smiling, picking up jayjay to go bath for him and prepare for a boring day

About two hours later I have bathed and feed myself and my son and so far mum and the rest of the family getting into the car to leave,I felt sad that I couldn't go and soon I know I will end up thinking about what I shouldn't be thinking of,since I have been depress from a lot of mistakes I have done and I just want a change from everything and my life itself.

A few tears drop from my eyes and I wipe it off thinking about what life as in stock for me,if I should just die and be done with it but I know I couldn't leave my jayjay alone he means alot to me this pass months,he has been my companion in everything,the only person I talk to but don't get a reply back apart from him speaking in is baby language that I don't understand.

We sat at the second parlour since it closer to my room, the kitchen and easy for me to see who ever comes in through the front door,I could see my baby boy was about to sleep so I lay him at the big chair and slept beside him soon sleep took me also .

Suddenly,I woke up from a bad dream,my dreams always come through and I couldn't explain what it was but I was scared and I don't know why, something was telling me to get out of the house but I don't know where to go,alot of people hate me now and I have told Davis I will let him know when am ready to talk to him since I don't know where he stays anymore,I decided to call him but when I check the time it was 12 noon may be I should call him at 3pm before everyone comes back home.
If only I have known I would have make that call,I would have left the house if only I have listen to my inner mind ... Putting it at the back of my head my taught went

To Linus the one responsible for my pregnancy he just vanished since I told him about the pregnancy 9month ago  no call nothing at all,I still couldn't place what as made me sleep with him,he was one hell of a handsome man his gary eyes the colour of his body and the build he has,he was the reflection of the man of my dreams on like Davis which I fell for,I never love Linus I just love the idea of his skin, bodybuilding and eyes God they where perfect and he didn't care I already have a son he showed me off and I love that am at beside a man like that.

I was deep in taught I didn't know when the front door was pull open or when the person walk in I just felt a presence in front of me blinding my vision so I look more closely.
I was shocked and I shouldn't hide my smile,when did you get back and how come you came in and I didn't know,he just smile and said I think you far away you just didn't hear me knock twice before allowing myself in.

I laughed at myself and stood up to give him a hug I noticed him looking at my big stomach and at my son and said he is too young,I understand what he was trying to say I smile and said you of all people should know shit happens and have learnt​ from this one.
I told him how much have missed him and that I have alot of gist for him we talk for hours I think because it felt like that since I didn't remember the last time I saw him we end up  haveing lunch together. It was time for him to go he said and I was like how? are you not here to stay or are you staying in an hotel or something
I was shock when he said he as been in town for weeks that he was busy and he couldn't have time to check on me and family that he was sorry about such so I told him no problem.

I stood to follow him to the door when he face me and ask why won't Davis wait till jayjay was 2 or a year before getting another baby,my face changed and I tried to hide it but he saw it and questioned me,a question that I should have avoid which turned out to be an argument we end up shouting on each other and I didn't know how,I was screaming and he was so angry and shouting at me,I didn't see the range cause I too was out of it next I know I felt a sharp objects on my skin and warm liquid pouring down my leg,first I taught I was going to labour that my water just broke

I look up to tell him to take me to the hospital but what I saw turn my body cold he was was with a knife and blood was on it,I look down to see the blood was from me that when I started falling,what has just happened,am i dying?this is not how I predict I will die,this not what I want,even if I taught of dying not like this,my pregnancy so I won't know if this baby is a girl or not, what will happen to jayjay,oh Davis!! I could have called you even if to just hear your vooooiiiccce as consciousness took me.