Troyler: Kairos

Kairos - (n.) the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for action, words, or movement.

Two boys. One friendship. One love.

______________________________________________________

It felt so good.

Little beads of sweat rolled past my brow and I smirked wiping them away.

The sensations sent shivers up my spine, the hair on my arm rising.

I felt so invigorated. Alive. Electrified.

I could breath.

Wait.

That isn't the sun on my skin.

My hair didn't rise from pleasure.

Yet I still felt so electric.

Jolt.

Is someone crying?

Jolt.

Am I dying?

Suddenly my fantasies were put at rest. I wasn't on a hot beach having a particularly steamy evening. I was laying limp in a hospital bed. Are you serious? Who would let my hair stay that bad? I mean it finally grew back, the least they could do was keep it styled.

It was hard losing my hair. Who am I kidding it's just hard in general getting a terminal illness.

Peak of my career. Potential romances in the air. My entire life ahead of me. I could never wrap my head around why this all happened. That's usually a dangerous question cancer patients tend to avoid. Never slip into the trench of infinite "why."

Of course that was two years ago when I was diagnosed. Many things have changed since then. I've become a stronger person, my relationships have grown. It's all quite surprising actually. Let me guess, you're wondering about Tyler right? My Tilly...

Well, It's actually very hard to talk about. He hardly ever leaves my side. You can see my pain reflected in his eyes. Sadly his career has suffered. He gradually made videos less and less, it was all to much for him. Id tell him to go film with the others, to have fun. Yet no later than 5 hours later he'd return with my favorite films and less than 20mins of footage.

The fact that I've spent the last ten minutes talking about Tyler instead of the fact that I'm currently in a coma may be a bit of an issue but it's natural for me. He's natural.

Now that I notice the situation my gutt wrenches. I hate to see him like this. Bent over my hospital bed, tears down his face. I want him to know I'm okay. I need him to hear my soothing voice.

Troye. Wake up.

It wasn't always like this. Things have changed between us since the diagnosis. He's been here since the start. I can't imagine life at this point any other way than it is currently going.

So what are we? I can't explain it that well. Some call us lovers, some call us best friends, but to all of you we are known as Troyler.

And this is our story.