Isn't She Lovely

Chapter 11: Spiralling Out of Control

TW: some gore, depression, suicidal thoughts
Yuri's POV:

I covered my mouth with my hands. Oh God oh God! This wasn't happening, tell me this wasn't happening. Monika was just laying there, a bullet had grazed her forehead, blood was seeping from it all over the floor, another bullet was embedded in her left shoulder blood was gushing from it. She was trying to bleed out. Another bullet was in her other shoulder and her leg. She was more blood than teen. The offending weapon was clutched lamely in her left hand. Oh Monika why? How?

"MONIKA!!" Sayori screamed falling to her knees , in the blood, letting it soak the bottom of her skirt. She cupped Monika's bloody face in her hands. She was shaking and sobbing. I didn't know what to do...I felt useless, but it felt so odd to see our strong leader so weak looking.

Her lips were pale, eyes were sunken in and closed, her hair was splayed out all over the floor tainted with her blood, her bow was ripped and cut hanging from her desk chair. Where she had hit the back of her head. She looked broken.

"MONIKA please answer me!" Sayori sobbed, spurring into action, I quickly removed my backpack pulling the gauze and tape from it, the ones Natsuki had given me. God I hope she was okay. But I couldn't focus on that. I had to focus on Monika. Had to focus on keeping her alive. As I was setting my bag down. I heard a painful cough.

"N-n-n..eh s-sa..Ori...." Monika slurred her eyes opening slightly and we caught a glimpse of her deeply green eyes before they fluttered shut once more. I quickly handed over the supplies to the overhysterical Sayori and pulled my phone out. Dialing 911 as fast as possible. I explained the situation and told them to hurry.

"Monika why?" Sayori sniffed as she applied pressure to the wounds as swift as possible and wrapped and secured them. Monika's tightly clenched right hand opened and I saw the bloody folded paper that she had been holding onto with all of her might. With shaking fingers I plucked it from her shaking hand. I looked to Sayori who nodded.

"Dearest friends, and my family,

I'm sorry for whoever comes across my broken body. I never wanted it to be this way. But after talking with a friend of mine, they gave me some good advice. Why keep fighting? If all the world ever does is push you down and hurt you why get back up? If everyone keeps ignoring you, seeing you but not really knowing you're there, then why be around at all? Life is full of disappointments and broken expectations. I should know, I'm nothing but a broken expectation. My sister wanted a brother and my parents a son. I wanted to make them proud but I wasn't worth their time to even begin to try. I was nothing more than a mistake and a broken expectation. I glamor on to people because of this. No one ever gives me any real attention, so when they do I go overboard. That scares them away. I wish I wasn't so awkward. I wish I was anyone but me. Sadly I'll always be me, nothing can change that not even death. So I will die being
just Monika..." I looked up at Sayori's tear filled eyes , feeling tears of own trailing down my face and neck. How had none of us known?

"Is there more?" Sayori questions tears choking her words and puffing up her eyes. I nod clearing the lump in throat.

"To my parents all I have to say is that I'm sorry. Sorry I never met your expectations or made you proud. I'm sorry I wasn't important enough for you to care about my well being. I'm sorry I was ever born. I'm sorry I burdened you with my existence. I'm sorry I wasn't smart like Lila or beautiful like mom. I am sorry. But like dad always says to his clients, sorry is an excuse for why you suck. So I'll skip the sorries and say goodbye. Hopefully you burry me in a wooden coffin where you never have to look or spend money on me again.

To Lila my beautiful, talented, smart and perfect older sister. I'm sorry I ruined your happiness. I'm sorry that because of me you had to give up so much. I'm sorry for always getting into your things and ruining your life. I hope you and your boyfriend get married and have a beautiful family. One that I won't ruin with my presence. I love you forever.

Sayori, my beautiful and wonderful Sayori..." I stopped it felt too intimate, private, I held it out to said girl and she nodded at me, making no move to take it from me as she held Monika's hand stroking her hair. So I continued. " ... Sayori I'm sorry for burdening you with my problems. I'm sorry I overwhelmed you. But I'm not sorry for loving you. You're so quirky and cute. Your heart is so big and you always put others before yourself. How could I not love you? You made me feel like I was flying by just being around me. This is goodbye now, I'm running out of paper, my hand is cramping from writing so small...you don't have to forgive me. Take care of the club....xoxo just Monika..." Sayori burried her face in Monika's stomach; sobbing brokenly. Sirens wailed through the air.
......................................................................

Thankfully on Sayori's part, and since she clotted off the blood, Monika would survive. Barely. She had lost a lot of blood. Plus she needed stitches for her bullent wounds. Not to mention she had a concussion as well.

Sayori had bawled what I assumed to be tears of joy at hearing those words. That Monika was going to survive. Then told the secretary to try and call her elder sister and parents.

I didn't know much about Monika's family. Just that her mom was an actress and her dad a director. Her sister was a lawyer in training and none of them were ever home or came to anything of Monika's.

I wondered if they'd show up for this.
"Can we see her?" Sayori pleaded once again to the receptionist. The older woman sighed heavily. Pushing up her thick rimmed glasses and leaning back irritably in her chair.
"Look kid, it's only family allowed, so unless you are her third cousin or something vamoose!" She growled and I stood seeing Sayori's broken expression.

"Excuse you, that's her girlfriend!" I snapped and the woman frowned, making each wrinkle on her worn face buldge disgustingly so. She examined us critically.
"And who might you be?" She demanded and my confidence evaporated as I fiddled with my hair nervously.

"I-I'm. ...her...f-"
"She's her cousin!" I kept my mouth shut and looked to the woman who looked to be pondering our words.

"Hello, excuse me excuse me!" A sultry voice exclaimed pushing past us.
"Miss these ladies were here first, back up." The receptionist snapped and I studied the lady. She was beautiful, not going to lie. She had blonde hair that was partially up in a bun, while the rest curled around her neck and shoulders. She sniffed looking at the receptionist desperately.
"Please, I just need to know-" she whispered softly tears spilling out and making her eyes puffy and the old woman held up her hand silencing her.
"So were they, now back up!" Her face fell, I looked at her green eyes and acting on whatever impulse I was feeling I whispered
"L-lila?" And her eyes snapped to meet mine.
"How did you-" she sniffed and Sayori looked at her gently.
"You're Monika's sister. We're her friends who found her. She's recovering now." Sayori whispered kindly and I passed her the suicide note. Just then my phone rang. I glanced at it, thinking if it was one of my parents I'd just shoot them a ...bad analogy, I'd just text them swiftly and ignore the call. My heart leapt into my throat as I read the caller ID
"Natsuki." I whispered then instantly answered.
"Y-yuri?" Her voice was crackling with emotion and I felt my heart break
"It's me where are you? Are you okay?" I pleaded with every higher beeing that she be okay.
"I'm not...so...can you pick me- up..." The line went dead with a sickening scream. My blood ran cold.

To be continued...
Hey guys sorry for the suspense with last chapter....I love writing cliff hangers but I'm a hypocrite because I hate reading them. Anyway hope you liked it, and please don't forget to comment and vote

XXX
Prisky