Suicidal Chemistry

#14

(Don't know who that manip belongs to...but I'd give credit if I did. Came from Pinterest)

"NO!" I scream as I jolt up. "NO!"

My entire body is shaking. Sweat is dripping from my brow. I don't want to cry because my head is pounding, but I can't help it. I just can't help it.

"NO!"

I am dry heaving, my stomach feels like it's in knots. I can't breathe. It's hard to move. I've never felt so scared in my entire life. I have to get out of here. I have no other options. Yet, before I can swing my feet over the side of the bed, I feel arms dragging me.

"Shh, Haz."

"Louis, oh my god!" I sob in the side of his arm. "Oh my god."

"It's okay, Harry. It's just a bad dream, love. Calm down."

"You....you jumped from the Eiffel Tower. I tried to save you, I really did. I failed." I wail out. My hair is sticking to my forehead, my eyes are puffy. My mouth feels like a Sahara desert. Not to mention, this terrible migraine I have from drinking. I don't even remember falling asleep. I must've passed out after I jerked off. I'm still naked and come is dried on my hand. "You can't leave me, Louis. Please."

He weakly strokes my face with his fingers, though he can hardly reach me because my upper body is on the bend of his arm. "No, no. Never leave you. I'll never leave you."

"Louis, it hurts. My heart hurts so much."

"I know. I know. I'm sorry I'm a fuck up. I promise though, Harry. We're going to make the most out of the cruise, the Ed Sheeran concert. You're going to have such a good time at the culinary art class and not even worry about me. I'm going to do better, I promise." I hear Louis' words of comfort but it isn't doing much for me at the moment.

It's only been three hours since we passed out, and I myself still feel very intoxicated. "You're going to hate me in the morning, I know it."

"Never," Louis cooed. "Why do you think that?"

"Because all I do all day is imagine what it would be like to kiss you." 

Wait, what? Why did I say that? Fuck my life.

"I kiss you all the time, love," Louis' hands navigate to my bottom lip, caressing it gently.

"No, Lou. You don't get it," I shake my head. "I mean kiss you, really kiss you." The alcohol is turning me into a blubbering mess.

"Alright then, you won't have to imagine anymore." Louis encourages me to roll off of him so he can get up, He crawls on top of me, intertwining our fingers and pushing my hands deep in the mattress. His thighs are on either side of mine, making the bed give in a little as he distributes his weight down. "Close your eyes, love."

I do as instructed, swallowing deep in my throat. "Shh." He caressed my cheek, letting me cry a few more minutes. "I'm a selfish bastard and all I've done is break you. You deserve to kiss someone way better than me."

I want to protest, but he doesn't give me the opportunity. Instead, he grazes his tongue across my lips, waiting patiently for me to open up and kiss him back, and I do. I pull him closer to me with my ankle, engulfing his body with my long leg like a python squeezing like a branch.

"Good?" Louis hums in my mouth, and I whimper 'mmmhmm' in return.

I can taste alcohol on both of our palettes, but it's sweet, not bitter. The kiss is enough to make my toes curl, my body shake. "Lou." I sigh. He's gently tugging on my hair, deepening the kiss.

"Your lips are soft like pillows, Harry. May I?" He's kissing down my neck, sucking softly on the sensitive skin of my adam's apple. I am panting now, each breath feeling heavy in my chest. He's licking my collarbone, how am I going to survive this?